Control

Before I get to this weeks article I would like to invite all of you to join my social network. I have created an online social network for 'Creative Living'. It's similar to facebook, once you have signed up you can start discussions, download photo's, video, etc. The reason I started it is for like minded people to connect and discuss some of the concepts I write about, ask questions and share experiences. It's going to be interesting to see just how many of my readers join, it'll be an indication as to how many really want to learn how to create their own life and how many like being controlled...., which brings me to this weeks article. To sign up, click here.




"What I do say is that no man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent." - Abraham Lincoln

How many of us are in some form of relationship where one person tries to exert control over the other? Many years ago, in my very first serious relationship I was the one doing the controlling. Back then I was incredibly insecure, and I could never quite understand why my partner was with me. What was such a lovely person doing with little old me? So, I tried control what she wore, what she ate, who she spoke to, what she did with her money, what she did with her spare time. I basically tried to control her life. My logic at the time was that the more control I had over her the more she belonged to me. Rather scary how our minds and our ego can trick us. Fortunately I learnt a lot from that relationship and a few others and I am now secure enough to understand that my wife is with me because of who I am.

"No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys." - Doug Horton

No human being has the right to control another, there are no wedding vows out there that mention control. I know a lot of people who are in relationships where the one person controls the other person by manipulating certain conditions. Generally the person doing the controlling is insecure about something in their life, they might not even be aware of it. (The ego is very cunning). And sometimes the one being controlled is totally aware of the controlling and accepts it for some or other reason, usually fear of what life might be like if they decided to end the relationship.

In my humble opinion, ending the relationship should only be done once all other alternatives have been explored, counselling is usually the best one can do, if you can find a good counsellor. Of course, trying to get the insecure partner to agree to counselling can be quite tricky, they generally believe all the problems are their partners.

In a nutshell, never give your freedom away, and if you decide to, make the most of your decision. Stop complaining about it, and get on with living. We can create the life of our dreams, we just need to start believing we can.

"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still." - Tao Te Ching