Acceptance & change

“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.” - Unknown

This is a very difficult concept to grasp, even for me, but thankfully I am finally coming to grips with it. Most of us spend so much time and effort trying to change the things we can't, and when we finally realize how futile it is we're too old to appreciate life to it's fullest.

And what it the one thing we try to change the most? Other people.

I was at a lovely wedding this weekend, and the sermon and speeches all had the same message, acceptance. I believe our divorce rate would be far lower if we all understood this simple concept. If we can't accept the way our partner is before we get married, don't get married. If we go into our marriage thinking we can change something about our partner, we will spend most of our time being miserable. The more we try and change someone, the more they will dig their heels in and resist. Acceptance is the key. If we accept our partner, friends, family, colleagues, etc the way they are, they will be far more open to suggestion.

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” - Unknown

Most people go to see psychiatrists hoping to be fixed or have their problems sorted out. Many stop going because it doesn't happen. A psychiatrist can't change you, they can only give you guidance on how to deal with certain situations, change has to come from within.

The bottom line is this. We have no right to change someone else, who are we to think we know what is best for someone else? All we can do is offer guidance. And another thing, people change far easier when they feel safe and secure, so if you feel you can offer guidance to someone, make sure it is in a safe and secure environment.

I wish people would spend half the time and effort they spend on others, on themselves.

“If you don't create change, change will create you.” - Unknown

And one last thing. Never expect something from someone else if you aren't willing to do the same thing yourself.

Below is one of my favorite quotes, and if you really think about it, adopting this attitude can change your life immensely.

"When you change the way you look at things... the things you look at change" - Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Have an awesome week.