Habits

“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character...” - Stephen R. Covey

We all have habits, some good, some bad. Some conscious, some unconscious. Most of our unconscious habits are formed during our childhood and we aren't even aware of them until we start looking deep within. A habit doesn't have to be something you physically do, it can be a thought pattern or self concept as well. I am going to be a parent in the near future so when I read my personal development books I always notice the little gems of advice about parenting. I'm busy reading a book by Brian Tracy called 'Million Dollar Habits' and I have posted an extract which reveals two bad habits most of us develop from childhood. View the post here. It wouldn't be fair to blame our parents for them, they did the best they could with the information available to them at the time, and we are now adults anyway. (We are now responsible for our own personal development.)


“Mindless habitual behavior is the enemy of innovation.” - Rosabeth Moss Kanter

They say it takes 21 consecutive days to break a habit, but I find that a bit of a generalization. I feel it all depends on the habit and how deeply it is entrenched within us. Take smoking for example, with certain people it can take years to break the habit. The reason for this, they have become dependant on the habit, they can't imagine their life without that one little pleasure, regardless of the health risks. (I should know, I used to be a smoker...)

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken” - Samuel Johnson

Breaking a habit is very similar to setting goals, we need to apply the same principles, and it all starts with a decision. Below are the nine steps for successful goal setting and
I will show you how they apply to changing habits.
1 - Write down the goal/habit in detail.
2 - Write down the reason for wanting to achieve the goal/change the habit.
3 - Make sure the goal/new habit is achievable.
4 - Break the goal/habit into smaller steps.
5 - Set deadlines for each step.
6 - Share the goal/habit with someone close to you.
7 - Visualizing how we will feel once we have achieved the goal/changed the habit is vital.
8 - We must continually measure our progress.
9 - We must reward ourselves once we have achieved each smaller step.

The trick here is diligence. So many of us start off well, then we get distracted by the busy-ness of our lives. Successful goal setting is a habit in itself. So what do we do?

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” - Jim Rohn

We firstly need to develop the habit of successful goal setting. To do this we must choose a goal we know we can achieve, something small. Write down the nine steps and measure ourselves every day, write down the results, no matter how trivial. Once we have achieved our first goal, we then choose a goal that is a bit more difficult to achieve, and so on. By doing this we form the habit of goal setting, and once we have developed this habit, life becomes an adventure.

“Good habits, once established are just as hard to break as are bad habits” - Robert Puller

Here is something fun to do, imagine it is five years in the future. Now write a letter to a close friend telling them how wonderful your life is, write as if you are living the life of your dreams, and be specific, write about the house you live in, the car you drive, your career and interests, your partner, and write with passion and share how you feel about your life. Let your imagination flow freely.....have lots of fun.

Goals

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” - Albert Einstein

It's that time of year again, the start of a new year, the time when we make new years resolutions and tell ourselves that this year is going to be different. How many of us stuck to our new years resolutions last year? If we want this year to be different, we are going to have to do things differently to last year. One thing we are not taught at school is goal setting, and I believe it is something we should be taught from an early age.

“Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.” - Fitzhugh Dodson

When we set out on a journey to a place we have never been before, we buy a map or ask someone for directions. Can you imagine how long it would take to reach our destination if we just got in our car and started driving! The same applies to our life, if we don't write down our goals and refer back to them frequently we may never achieve them. And when we follow directions, we constantly look for landmarks along the journey that let us know we are heading in the right direction. The same goes for setting goals, we need to set smaller goals that lead to our bigger goals.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” - Larry Elder

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” - C.S. Lewis

I know a lot of people who never set any goals, their reason, destiny. They believe they are born the way they are and their life has already been planned for them. Even I used to believe it, and wouldn't it be nice if it were true, we could just go through life dealing with the day to day drama believing we are where we are because it's God's plan and at the end of our life we can then blame God for everything we didn't like in our life. It was a movie that opened my eyes to the truth, 'Bruce Almighty' starring Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman. While the movie is a comedy, it emphasizes free will. And I can't believe in free will and destiny, they completely
contradict each other.

“Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” - William Jennings Bryan

“Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.” - Ambrose Bierce

So if you believe in destiny, I'm sorry, I can't help you, but if you believe you have some control over your life then I'd like to share with you. My first goal for the year is to learn how to set goals effectively, and I'll share what I learn.

I believe we all share one common goal, to be successful at living life, and we can all help each other achieve this goal, by loving each other, encouraging each other, respecting each other and sharing our infinite wisdom.

I leave you this week with a quote to remind you that what happened 5 seconds ago can't be changed!

“It doesn't matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.” — Brian Tracy