“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”
- Brian Tracy
This is a tough one for most of us, myself included. Self control needs to be used in many situations, in this article I am going to focus on arguments.
So why do most arguments begin? There are a number of reasons, but the most common one is a difference of opinion. When you are in a relationship, whether it be a friendship, marriage, family or business there will always be differing opinions. Arguments normally start when you have a different opinion to someone else and one of you is trying to enforce your point of view on the other. An argument can be resolved on the spot or it can become very heated, even abusive (emotionally & physically), depending on the topic of the argument. And when the argument is over and all the wrong things have been said and done we adopt a blame mentality, if we got frustrated or angry we blame the other person. “You made me say …...” Or “You made me angry.” Or “Why can’t you see things my way?” The main reason we do this is that accepting responsibility for our own actions means we have to admit we lost control, and that takes a lot of courage.
When there is a difference of opinion, is it really that important that the other person agree with your opinion? Is your opinion the only one, and is it right? Why?
As a matter of fact, you have no right to force someone else to see things your way; it goes against the whole concept of free will. Respect the other persons individuality, and if your opinion is the right one, the other person might agree with it one day, they might not, it’s really not that important.
I am learning to adopt a new attitude which is very difficult for all my friends and family to accept. I voice my opinion, if someone agrees that’s great, if someone doesn’t that’s also great, but I am not going get all emotionally worked up about it. And if I’m wrong, I’ll admit it, there’s nothing wrong with being wrong, none of us can be right ALL the time no matter how much we would like to believe it.
Start exercising the art self control today and see how YOUR life changes.
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” - Galatians 5:22
1 comment:
Self Control.....
No there's a much misunderstood concept. In a world where the tough guys are seen as the ones who can shout the loudest, hit the hardest and supposedly command respect, it is difficult to be seen as strong if none of these methods are used.
What if self control IS the ultimate power? Would Bruce Lee, Ghandi, the Dalai Lama and others like them have achieved half of what they did? I don't believe so.
I often use the expression that I won my last fight by at least a mile. Some are amused by this and some see it as weakness...
The way I choose to see it is that if someone is being aggressive, argumentative or rude, that's their stuff! They own it. I don't want it and by retaliating or arguing, I have just accepted it from them and now it becomes my burden to carry.
Far better to listen to what otheres have to say and give up your right to be right all the time.
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