“If someone sticks a label on you, then it’s their loss. You are who you are, and if they can't accept you as that, too bad for them.” - Gayle Nakama
We all label people, and we are all labeled by people, sadly it’s just the way things are done these days. And by labels I don't only mean the obvious ones like nerd, tart, snob, etc. In my personal life I was labeled a boyfriend, then a husband, now I'm a husband and a father, and when I make my wife angry I am labeled things I can't write here… :) In my working life I was labeled a trainee, then a designer/engineer, then a business owner. And in my social life I have been labeled many things, some good, some bad.
Read more...
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Reactions
“Man's last freedom is his freedom to choose how he will react in any given situation” - Viktor Frankl
This week I'll be borrowing something that my sister emailed me because I believe it is of vital importance. I wrote something along similar lines when I first started my blog and it really is gratifying to know that a respected person agrees with my beliefs, especially when many people close to me think I'm full of it. (to refresh your memory on my article, click here…)
The 90/10 Principle by Dr. Stephen R. Covey
10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% of life is decided by how you react…
Read more...Monday, March 30, 2009
Limitations
“Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on your own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.” - Denis Waitley
With young Adam keeping me so busy I haven't had much time to write an article this week, so I am borrowing something that a good friend of mine sent me. While I am totally against animals in captivity, this story really helps us realize the truth about ourselves. We might be a technically advancing species, but when it comes to our own potential, we have sadly forgotten our own abilities.
Read more...Monday, March 23, 2009
Change
This weeks article is slightly different thanks firstly to the birth of my son Adam on Friday morning and secondly a realization I had along my journey of self development.
“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family” - Anthony Brandt
Firstly, along with the birth of my first child comes a whole lot of change, and I can either embrace it or stress myself out and resist it. And the same applies to all aspects of change. A lot of us are so comfortable with our life as it is that the minute something happens that takes us out of our comfort zone we become anxious, which leads to stress, which leads to health problems, which leads to more stress, until one day we are so worked up we can't even remember where it all started. The sooner we can all learn to embrace change, the sooner we will find peace and harmony, after all, change is inevitable and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Think of a surfer, the difficult part is fighting against the waves and getting out to the breakers, the easy part is riding the wave back to the shore. So ride the waves of change in life, and have fun doing it.
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” - Karen Kaiser Clark
Secondly, my blog has always been about how we are responsible for our own lives, which we are, but I have come to realize we are cannot create our life alone. My wife and I did not create Adam alone, we had help, our creator helped us create a new life. We co-created. With this realization comes more change. I will be renaming my blog to 'Co-Creative Living' and at the same time I will be gradually moving it to a new system, one which I find more flexible and easier to use. To check it out click here. (Let me know what you think of my new blog please...)
“Change is the only constant” - Proverb quotes
I look forward to sharing many more articles on Co-Creative Living with you, have an awesome week.
“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family” - Anthony Brandt
Firstly, along with the birth of my first child comes a whole lot of change, and I can either embrace it or stress myself out and resist it. And the same applies to all aspects of change. A lot of us are so comfortable with our life as it is that the minute something happens that takes us out of our comfort zone we become anxious, which leads to stress, which leads to health problems, which leads to more stress, until one day we are so worked up we can't even remember where it all started. The sooner we can all learn to embrace change, the sooner we will find peace and harmony, after all, change is inevitable and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Think of a surfer, the difficult part is fighting against the waves and getting out to the breakers, the easy part is riding the wave back to the shore. So ride the waves of change in life, and have fun doing it.
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” - Karen Kaiser Clark
Secondly, my blog has always been about how we are responsible for our own lives, which we are, but I have come to realize we are cannot create our life alone. My wife and I did not create Adam alone, we had help, our creator helped us create a new life. We co-created. With this realization comes more change. I will be renaming my blog to 'Co-Creative Living' and at the same time I will be gradually moving it to a new system, one which I find more flexible and easier to use. To check it out click here. (Let me know what you think of my new blog please...)
“Change is the only constant” - Proverb quotes
I look forward to sharing many more articles on Co-Creative Living with you, have an awesome week.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Patience
“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” - Arnold H. GlasgowWell, with the due date for Baby Thomas past, I thought I'd write about something we need a lot of at the moment. And something a lot of us have very little of these days. It seems to me that the whole world has gone mad, everything is such a rush, and I know from experience that when you rush things mistakes happen.
I haven't always been a patient person, but living on London for 2 years helped me become a lot more patient. When I first got there the public transport system used to raise my stress levels far too much, but after a few months I realized that there was nothing I could do about the late trains, tubes & buses. So I would just pull out my book and read. Why is it that we let things we have no control over stress us out so much? Are we all becoming control freaks? I'd love to read your thoughts on this...
“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” - St. Francis de Sales
Having learnt a bit of patience when it comes to external matters was relatively easy, being patient with myself was another matter completely. Until recently I hadn't even realize I was being impatient with myself. Thankfully my wife pointed it out to me. I have been reading loads of self development books and wondering why life hasn't changed dramatically. The reason..., I was trying too hard and trying to change too much at once. So, I have stopped reading too many books, I am reading an intensely spiritual book at the moment, which is probably going to take me 2 years to complete, but as I have realized, there is no rush when it comes to living life.
“Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown.” - Soren Kierkegaard
When you plant a seed, do you dig it up all the time to see what is going on, to check whether it is growing or not? (If you do, let me know, I'd love to chat to you.) We plant the seed in good soil and water it trusting that it will grow in it's own time. So why don't we trust that life will treat us the same way? I'm not saying we must become lazy and just sit around and wait for things to happen, do what can be done and trust that the results will come at exactly the right time. The minute we become impatient, we become stressful, and when we are stressful we are not in tune with the universe.
“He that can have patience, can have what he will.” - Benjamin Franklin
“The principle part of faith is patience.” - George MacDonald
I believe that if we could all learn to be patient with ourselves and with others we could spread a lot more peace and harmony on this wonderful planet of ours. I hope you start believing it too....
Monday, March 9, 2009
Our true self
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess
Do we really know ourselves, our true selves? Or do we only know the person we have become through years of conditioning? We were all born perfect, but then, in those first few months of our lives our conditioning starts. Our family and close family friends start pointing out our imperfections. And this carries on for the rest of our lives, and eventually we start believing what our family and friends say to be the truth. So what do we do? We start behaving in ways that will help us fit in with what is considered 'normal'.
I look back on my life and wonder where I would be today is I had done things differently. I have always been shy and what is considered a bit of an introvert. To try and counteract my shyness I did things to try and 'fit' in. I started smoking at a young age, not because I enjoyed it, but because the 'friends' I had at the time were doing it. I started drinking at a young age too, this helped me overcome my shyness and I believed made me more like able, I was more 'fun' to be with. I even started saying and doing things that were out of character, all just to try and get people to like me.
"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin
Now that I have decided to try and discover my true self my life has become really tricky. All the friends I have made have started changing their opinion about me and sadly our friendships are no longer what they used to be. I'm not as much 'fun' to be with as I used to be. I'm even considered "arrogant" and "a know it all" by some. Luckily, what matters most to me is what I think of myself and I know my true friends will always be around.
"I was once afraid of people saying, "Who does she think she is?" Now I have the courage to stand and say, "This is who I am."" - Oprah Winfrey
So why are we constantly trying to live up to other peoples expectations? Why are we constantly trying to "keep up with the Jone's"? The answer is simple, but scary. Our ego convinces us that we will be happy if more people like us and if we have what "the Jone's" have. There is a common misconception that only men have an ego, every single one of us has an ego. Most of us are our ego. I have yet to meet a person who has shed their ego.
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." - Will Rogers
Most people reading this will feel offended in some way, that's the ego's self defense mechanism kicking in. Feel good?
"Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have." - Doris Mortman
So how do we discover our true selves? And why would we want to? All it takes is a decision, once the decision has been taken, our inner guidance takes over. The reason, inner peace. Have you ever seen a new born sleeping? Can you imagine experiencing the inner peace that the new born is experiencing? It is possible. Imagine waking up in the morning not having to worry about a thing, doing what you want to do, not what you feel you have to do. It is possible...., we just need to discover our true self.
"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts." - Albert Einstein
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." - Carl Jung
Do we really know ourselves, our true selves? Or do we only know the person we have become through years of conditioning? We were all born perfect, but then, in those first few months of our lives our conditioning starts. Our family and close family friends start pointing out our imperfections. And this carries on for the rest of our lives, and eventually we start believing what our family and friends say to be the truth. So what do we do? We start behaving in ways that will help us fit in with what is considered 'normal'.
I look back on my life and wonder where I would be today is I had done things differently. I have always been shy and what is considered a bit of an introvert. To try and counteract my shyness I did things to try and 'fit' in. I started smoking at a young age, not because I enjoyed it, but because the 'friends' I had at the time were doing it. I started drinking at a young age too, this helped me overcome my shyness and I believed made me more like able, I was more 'fun' to be with. I even started saying and doing things that were out of character, all just to try and get people to like me.
"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin
Now that I have decided to try and discover my true self my life has become really tricky. All the friends I have made have started changing their opinion about me and sadly our friendships are no longer what they used to be. I'm not as much 'fun' to be with as I used to be. I'm even considered "arrogant" and "a know it all" by some. Luckily, what matters most to me is what I think of myself and I know my true friends will always be around.
"I was once afraid of people saying, "Who does she think she is?" Now I have the courage to stand and say, "This is who I am."" - Oprah Winfrey
So why are we constantly trying to live up to other peoples expectations? Why are we constantly trying to "keep up with the Jone's"? The answer is simple, but scary. Our ego convinces us that we will be happy if more people like us and if we have what "the Jone's" have. There is a common misconception that only men have an ego, every single one of us has an ego. Most of us are our ego. I have yet to meet a person who has shed their ego.
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." - Will Rogers
Most people reading this will feel offended in some way, that's the ego's self defense mechanism kicking in. Feel good?
"Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have." - Doris Mortman
So how do we discover our true selves? And why would we want to? All it takes is a decision, once the decision has been taken, our inner guidance takes over. The reason, inner peace. Have you ever seen a new born sleeping? Can you imagine experiencing the inner peace that the new born is experiencing? It is possible. Imagine waking up in the morning not having to worry about a thing, doing what you want to do, not what you feel you have to do. It is possible...., we just need to discover our true self.
"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts." - Albert Einstein
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." - Carl Jung
Monday, March 2, 2009
Resentment
“Resentment is one burden that is incompatible with your success. Always be the first to forgive; and forgive yourself first always.” - Dan Zadra
What is resentment? Well, according to the Wikipedia, "Resentment (also called rancour, or ranklement) is an emotion of anger or bitterness felt repeatedly, as a result of a real, or imagined, wrong done."
The end bit is quite interesting, "...a real or imagined wrong done." Some of us have resentment for events that didn't even happen, we just imagined them, or we perceived a situation in an incorrect way. Such is the power of the human mind.
“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” - Malachy McCourt
I battle to understand why us humans cling to resentment so strongly. Our resentment towards others does nothing but damage ourselves. Do you think the person, or persons you are harbouring resentment towards are affected in any way? They just carry on with their lives as they would usually, while you are slowly killing yourself. Yes, resentment can actually kill you. How? Did you know that every single human being is born with the possibility of developing cancer? And before I go any further, let me upset your world even more, cancer is a disease of the mind, not the body. This is where most of you either stop reading or put up your defenses, because I have just challenged a belief you have held for so long, and your beliefs make life comfortable....
Have you ever wondered why, with all the advances in modern medicine, there is still no cure for cancer? And there never will be a medical cure, the cure will be one of understanding. Cancer is your bodies way of telling you there is something wrong with your mind, something wrong with your thinking. And resentment is the main cause for cancer. In the movie, "You Can Heal Your Life" a woman is interviewed. She did research on finding out what the common thread was in people who had been cured of cancer, of course the answer was that they changed the way they thought, about themselves and life. So, before you disagree with what I'm writing, do some research of your own.
“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head” - Ann Landers
So how do we let go of resentment? Forgiveness is the only way, forgiveness of yourself and others. To forgive someone, you don't have to physically go up to them and tell them, although it would help, you can just forgive them in your own mind. How do you know if you have truly forgiven? The person or situation wont dominate your thoughts as much and you will feel a slight shift towards joy.
Some of us harbour resentment so deeply in our subconscious that we aren't even aware of it, but sooner or later, your body will let you know, and if it does, do the hard work, you're worth it.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder
What is resentment? Well, according to the Wikipedia, "Resentment (also called rancour, or ranklement) is an emotion of anger or bitterness felt repeatedly, as a result of a real, or imagined, wrong done."
The end bit is quite interesting, "...a real or imagined wrong done." Some of us have resentment for events that didn't even happen, we just imagined them, or we perceived a situation in an incorrect way. Such is the power of the human mind.
“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” - Malachy McCourt
I battle to understand why us humans cling to resentment so strongly. Our resentment towards others does nothing but damage ourselves. Do you think the person, or persons you are harbouring resentment towards are affected in any way? They just carry on with their lives as they would usually, while you are slowly killing yourself. Yes, resentment can actually kill you. How? Did you know that every single human being is born with the possibility of developing cancer? And before I go any further, let me upset your world even more, cancer is a disease of the mind, not the body. This is where most of you either stop reading or put up your defenses, because I have just challenged a belief you have held for so long, and your beliefs make life comfortable....
Have you ever wondered why, with all the advances in modern medicine, there is still no cure for cancer? And there never will be a medical cure, the cure will be one of understanding. Cancer is your bodies way of telling you there is something wrong with your mind, something wrong with your thinking. And resentment is the main cause for cancer. In the movie, "You Can Heal Your Life" a woman is interviewed. She did research on finding out what the common thread was in people who had been cured of cancer, of course the answer was that they changed the way they thought, about themselves and life. So, before you disagree with what I'm writing, do some research of your own.
“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head” - Ann Landers
So how do we let go of resentment? Forgiveness is the only way, forgiveness of yourself and others. To forgive someone, you don't have to physically go up to them and tell them, although it would help, you can just forgive them in your own mind. How do you know if you have truly forgiven? The person or situation wont dominate your thoughts as much and you will feel a slight shift towards joy.
Some of us harbour resentment so deeply in our subconscious that we aren't even aware of it, but sooner or later, your body will let you know, and if it does, do the hard work, you're worth it.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder
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