Worry

"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything."
- Mary Hemingway

Why do us humans worry so much? If I didn't know any better I'd think we derived some form of pleasure out of it, and when asked most people say, 'I can't help it!'. Why not? Have you lost control of your own mind?

Think about it carefully, how many of the things you worry about actually happen? So was all the stress really necessary? If there is something you can do about it then do it, and do it well, if not, stop worrying. Have faith, faith that life will deliver exactly what is needed in your life.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
- Matthew 6:34

The really scary thing is that the universe responds to your thoughts with amazing accuracy, good and bad. So the more you worry about something, the more chance you have of attracting that experience into your life. As mentioned in an earlier blog, when you first start worrying about something it is a conscious thought, but if you worry about it for long enough it becomes an unconscious thought, you don't even realize you are worrying about it.

So, become pro-active in your life, stop worrying and start living!

"If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep."
- Dale Carnegie

"Ninety percent of the things we tend to worry about we have no control over, so why worry about them?"
- Unknown

Mumbo-Jumbo (Law of attraction)

'Our challenge, which is also a tremendous opportunity, is to open up to a literally life-changing way of thinking ourselves into existence.' - Sol Luckman

When I talk to people about the Law of Attraction, most people ask, 'Do you really believe in all that mumbo-jumbo? 5 years ago I would've said the same thing. Today I can say with absolute certainty, not only do I believe it, I practice using it daily. Since learning about the Law of Attraction, my life has changed immensely. I only started practicing after seeing the movie, 'The Secret', but unlike most people, I didn't stop there, I read books, watched DVDs, searched the internet and spoke to people who knew about it. Here are a few examples of how my life has changed.

1.
I have been wanting a dog for years, but I refused to even look for one because my working hours were long and my wife works so the dog would've been left alone all day. I believe a dog should be treated as part of the family, and you wouldn't leave a family member alone all day, especially one that relies on you so much. 3 months ago I started working from home, so we decided it was time to finally get our dog. I knew exactly what dog I wanted, and thankfully my wife agreed, as long as it was black. So the search began, and what do you know, we found a breeder with exactly what we were looking for, only problem, one dog left, two people wanting him. (no-one else in our province had any litters at the time). I believed with all my heart we would get him, and we did. Meet 'Tyson', our newest family member.



2.
My wife is now 10 weeks pregnant and our two year anniversary is coming up, and when we got married we agreed that every anniversary we would go somewhere special for the weekend. This year we decided to do some financial planning for when my wife is on maternity leave, and decided not to go away. I believed that with all my wife has been through, (we had a miscarriage on the first attempt), she really deserved the weekend. Two days later I get a phone call, I've won a weekend away from a charity organization I support.

Now most of you would say I'm just really lucky. Maybe, but I never used to be. I believe we make our own luck, and using the Law of Attraction really has changed my luck.

I have changed my whole attitude toward life.
Life is meant to be easy and enjoyable, God didn't put me on this planet to struggle, I have made it a struggle with my negativity and limiting beliefs. And since I have changed my attitude, my life really has changed for the better, and I know it's just going to keep getting better.

A lot of you will still say, 'What a load of mumbo-jumbo!', and in the past that would have bothered me, not any more. Every one is entitled to their own opinion and beliefs. I just know that so many of you are missing out on living the life of your dreams, but when you are ready, you'll open your minds to the infinite possibilities life has to offer.

'Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.' - Martin Luther King Jr. 'The only way to successfully manifest the life you desire... is to keep trying until you are successful!' - Bob Crawford

Gratitude & kindness

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. - Brian Tracy

Whenever you are feeling a bit down, or things just don't seem to be going right, try a little gratitude. Start with the small things, things taken for granted. Are you grateful you have eyes to be able to read this, and that you have the ability to read? Some people don't have either. So say a thank you, and keep thinking of little things to be grateful for, you'll start feeling better.

Us humans, we always want more, and there's nothing wrong with that. All living things want more, it's how life expresses itself here on earth. We are here to experience the best life has to offer, it's up to us to learn how to achieve it. The problem is this, are we grateful for what we have, and are we grateful or everything we get? When you receive a gift, are you truly grateful? Or do you wish it was more, or something better?

Be truly grateful, a heartfelt 'Thank you' is all it takes. (The more grateful you are, the more likely you will receive more).

And did you know that being kind helps the brain produce serotonin, which is exactly what prescription anti-depressants do. Your simple acts of kindness can even have the same effect on those who see the acts.

So if you are feeling down, don't reach for the pills, ice-cream or wine. Be grateful and go and do something kind, and don't expect anything in return, you are doing this for yourself, no other reason. It might be difficult at first, but practice doing something kind, and being kind every day. Your life will change, guaranteed.

My theory is this:
The more people who can be grateful and kind, the happier this planet will be, and what could be better than a happier planet?

Here is an example of how to start your day in a grateful and kind way. When you wake up in the morning, thank your Creator for another awesome day in which you can experience life to it's fullest. And on your way to work, let someone in front of you in the traffic and smile, or tell your partner you love them or they look good, there are so many simple ways to be kind.

Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much. - Blaise Pascal

Have a great day, and thank you so much for reading my article.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. - Denis Waitley

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. - HH the Dalai Lama

Self esteem (my story)

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha

How do you know if have low self esteem? Do you ever compare yourself to someone else, someone you know or someone famous? If you do, you may have low self esteem. But don't feel bad, you are not alone, most of the worlds population share this affliction.

So much has been written about this subject and there are so many courses out there on how to develop your self esteem. I have to ask, Why do so many of us suffer from low self esteem? Unfortunately no one knows the answer, there are a lot of theories out there, but no one knows the root cause. If someone did, we would all be cured. I do know this, the media feed on the populations low self esteem. Most advertising focuses on making you feel like a better person if you buy and use their product. And it usually does, but not permanently.

“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” - Unknown

Your self esteem can only be changed by you, from inside you. I have had low self esteem for as long as I can remember, I only realised this a few years ago, and the hardest thing I had to do was admit it to myself. I was always doing things to please others, always agreeing with what they said, and if I didn't agree I would just keep quiet. I just wanted to be liked by everyone. I believed that what other people thought of me defined who I was. Thankfully I have realised how wrong that is.

The first thing I had to do was love and respect myself, and it doesn't just happen overnight, it takes effort. Then I had to stop worrying about what other people would think about what I was saying or doing. Something that helped me here was realising that people don't actually think about me that often, they've got too much other stuff going on in their lives. What a relief that was! Then came the hard part.....

I had to accept that I was going to loose some friends with my new beliefs. They liked the old me, the me that made them feel good about themselves. The new me might not be quite as pleasing to them. This was a really tough predicament to deal with. What it made me realise was that the true friends would stick by me no matter what, the rest weren't true friends to begin with. Another plus was that I would meet more people who would like me for me.
“To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” - Denis Waitley

That's my low self esteem story, and here's how I try and look at things to better my self esteem.
- when I want to say or do something, I don't ask myself, 'What will other people think?'. I ask myself, 'Is it right or wrong?". (read my blog on right or wrong for more about this)
- if someone disagrees with what I am saying or doing, it doesn't mean it is wrong. Not everyone is going to agree with me all the time. (we are all at different stages of development in our own lives)
- just because everyone else is doing it a certain way, doesn't mean it's right. This herd mentality is detrimental to society in more ways than I can explain in this article. (see my blog on paradigms and perceptions)

My self esteem is not nearly where I would like it to be, but it will be soon. Where is yours?

“Believe in your dreams and they may come true; believe in yourself and they will come true.” - Unknown

“The greatest difficulty is that men do not think enough of themselves, do not consider what it is that they are sacrificing when they follow in a herd, or when they cater for their establishment” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” - Unknown

Magnetism

'You are the most powerful magnet in the universe! You contain a magnetic power within you that is more powerful than anything in this world, and this unfathomable magnetic power is emitted through your thoughts.'
- Rhonda Byrne

In this quote you are compared to a magnet, and rightly so. Firstly let me explain how a magnet works. A magnet is a type of metal that generates a magnetic field, you can't see this field, but it is there. This field attracts materials with common or similar properties. A magnet will not attract lead, aluminium & stainless steel because these metals have different properties to magnets. The important point is this, you can't see the magnetic field with the naked eye, but it is there.

Your brain generates electrical pulses at varying frequencies 24 hours a day, these are commonly known as brain waves, (beta, alpha, theta and delta). What happens to these brain waves, do they just disappear into thin air? Fortunately they don't, your brain waves are like a magnetic field, they attract everything into your life. This is commonly known as the law of attraction.

Why do people struggle to believe this? They believe a magnet works, yet they can't see the magnetic field. I believe that us human beings don't like responsibility. If you believe the law of attraction works, then you have to believe that you create your own life experiences, the good and the bad. And very few people can admit to attracting bad things into their life.

Here's the beauty of the law of attraction, imagine the type of life you can create for yourself if you can learn to control your thoughts. What good does a negative thought do? So why think it? You can't help it...., well then I'm afraid you no longer control your life, your ego does.

Now the really scary part. The law of attraction is a law, like magnetism and gravity. It works whether you believe in it or not. So it would be really wise of you to learn how to use this law properly and create the life of your dreams.

If you want to be loved, be a loving person;
If you want happiness, be a happy person;
If you want to be wealthy, think wealthy thoughts;
If you want to be healthy, think healthy thoughts;
the list goes on....

It all starts with you!

'When you change the way you look at things - the things you look at change.' - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Breathe

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
- Oprah Winfrey

Breathing, something taken for granted and yet so important for survival. You can live without food and water for a few days, but try and live for a few minutes without breathing.
And it's not just breathing, but how we breathe that is of vital importance.

Have you ever stopped and observed your breathing? Do it now. Is it short and shallow? Or is it long and deep? By observing your breathing you will be able to tell whether you are relaxed, or stressed and anxious. Long, deep breathes indicate a relaxed state. Any form of meditation or exercise focus firstly on breathing, that's how important it is. If you are breathing in short, shallow bursts it means you are stressed or anxious about something.

The first thing you need to do is start breathing deeply, and concentrate on your breathing, I mean really concentrate. Firstly, make sure you are sitting or standing upright, your spine nice and straight. Then make sure your shoulders are back and your chest open, not hollow or hunched. Then breathe, feel the air flowing through your nostrils and filling up your lungs, breathe in until your lungs are full, really full.... then exhale slowly. Keep doing this until you start feeling relaxed, actually, keep doing this for the rest of your life, the benefits are immense.

Please note, the first time you start doing this, you might feel slightly light headed, that's because your body and mind are not used to so much oxygen, and it is a great indicator that you don't breathe properly.

If you are having trouble falling asleep, concentrate on your breathing, and don't give up after a few minutes, keep it up, you will eventually fall asleep. It's a known fact that when we sleep we naturally breathe more deeply and rhythmically than when awake. That's because when we sleep our body and mind renews itself, and the more oxygen we give it the better.
But if we could breathe like that while awake, imagine the benefits.

And it's not just how we breathe, but what we breathe. The better the quality of air the better your body can use it.

I am an ex-smoker, and they say we are the worst when it comes to being around smokers. I just wish the smokers I know could feel the benefits I feel from quitting. Our bodies are designed in a way that we breathe in air through our lungs and our lungs absorb oxygen into our blood stream and it is transported to every single cell. Unfortunately, everything else gets absorbed with the oxygen. And the list of chemicals is scary.
The quality of air we breathe while sleeping is even more important, so if you sleep with you bedroom door closed it might explain why you don't feel refreshed in the morning. The ideal is to sleep near an open window, and even better if there is a slight draft. Unfortunately, living conditions in most countries don't allow this.

So, stop taking breathing for granted and breathe your way to better health.

“To insure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.”
- William Londen

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
- Marcus Aurelius

Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours”
- Swedish Proverb

Paradigms & perceptions

"Just because something has always been done in a certain way is never a sufficient reason for continuing to do it that way."
- Clarence Birdseye

This quote explains a paradigm in a simple way, and the attached cartoon in an even simpler way. (to view the cartoon more clearly, just click on the image, it will open in a new window)

According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, a paradigm is "a philosophical and theoretical framework of a scientific school or discipline within which theories, laws, and generalizations and the experiments performed in support of them are formulated; broadly: a philosophical or theoretical framework of any kind."

In a sense, we each have our own set of paradigms or glasses through which we view the world. These personal viewpoints of the "way things are" may cloud our ability to perceive or consider new or different ideas, especially if they seem to be in conflict with our perception of what is reality or "truth."

My question is this, how many paradigms are there, and why do we accept them so easily?

"All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions."
- Leonardo da Vinci

A lot of what we believe and the way we do things has been passed down through the ages, from our distant relatives, or a committee or organization created the paradigm. We are even born with certain perceptions already programmed into our thinking. It is only as we get older we can start to question things. (if we want to)

"What you see depends on what you thought before you looked."
- Eugene Taurman

The problem with paradigms and perceptions is that it tends to narrow our thinking and close our minds. We make decisions before we have even heard the other side, especially if it challenges a belief we have had for some time.

"With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another."
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

One of the most concerning paradigms for me, is one created by certain churches. The belief that if you don't walk the straight and narrow you will suffer the wrath of God. That basically means we will all suffer the wrath of God, because all of us sin at one point in our life. I believe in a loving God, I believe God is pure love, nothing else and he will never get angry with any of his children. I strive to be more like Him and be loving and kind to all I know and meet.

I would love to hear about more paradigms that annoy you, I know there are plenty out there...