Feeling comfortable

“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.” - Denis Waitley

Most of us love to live in our comfort zone, we feel safe and secure there, but as we get older we start having certain regrets. If only I had done this or that. I have recently started doing things I wouldn't usually do. Writing these articles for example. A few years ago I would never have done this, and it was not an easy decision to make. I thought people would think I was becoming one of 'those' people. I feared I would lose all my friends. Thankfully that hasn't happened, although our relationships have definitely changed. I even had some friends tell me that 'I've changed too fast.' Too fast for who? True friends will stick by you no matter what, and those are the ones I want in my life.

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” - Brian Tracy

I have purposefully moved out of my comfort zone twice this year. The first time I went to a bachelor party with a difference. It involved go-kart racing, and there were few people I knew. As the day approached, the usual thing happened, the voice inside my head, (commonly known as reason?), started coming up with all sorts of reasons why I shouldn't go. In the past I would've just let it continue, and it would've eventually come up with a good enough reason which would've been acceptable and I would've cancelled. Luckily through all my reading I've been made aware of my ego, and when it happened I just smiled and ignored my 'voice of reason'. And I'm so glad I did, I really enjoyed the new experience and hopefully will get to do it again.

The second time was on Saturday. I receive emails about events happening on a weekly basis and one has always caught my attention, 'The Coffee Club', and my voice of reason has always made an excuse not to go. But this particular topic, 'Experiencing Life Creatively by Joy Truscott', is what I write about all the time, so I just had to go. My wife agreed to come with me, so having her support made it a bit easier. But something unexpected came up and she couldn't make it. In the past that would've been enough for me to cancel, but I didn't, and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It's amazing how much you can learn in a short space of time, and not only that, it really helps when you hear other people talking about what you believe in. I look forward to the next 'Coffee Club'.


“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Next time you are invited to do something that is out of your comfort zone, be aware of your 'voice of reason' and try to recognize it for what it really is, your ego. You never know, you might be missing out on the chance of a lifetime, but of course you will never know if you keep on listening.

“To the degree we're not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control of us than we have over ourselves.” - Peter McWilliams

Have an awesome week and keep creating your life. I leave you with a quote which really put a smile on my face....Moooo :)

“To make a goal of comfort or happiness has never appealed to me; a system of ethics built on this basis would be sufficient only for a herd of cattle” - Albert Einstein

Attitude

“Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us.” - John N. Mitchell

If you had told me this ten years ago I would've thought you were nuts, fortunately I have opened my mind a lot more and started learning more about life. Back then I had a very negative attitude, some of my friends would even say to me, 'Stop being so negative.' My reply would be, 'I'm not being negative, just realistic.' What a load of rubbish. So many of us have this victim mentality, we believe we have no control, or limited control over our life. We get out of bed every morning and believe we just have to deal with whatever life throws at us every day. Well guess what, if that's what we believe, then that's what is going to happen. If we want it to change we need to change our attitude.

I had such a bad attitude that I refused to expect good things to happen to me. My philosophy was, 'Don't expect good things to happen and you won't be disappointed'. And that's exactly what happened, fortunately nothing really bad happened, but I often wonder how different things would be if my attitude had been different. I can't change the past so I am just truly grateful that I have been introduced to the truth.

“Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done.” - Bo Bennett

Changing an attitude is like changing any habit. It's difficult at first, but as you get used to it, it becomes easier. It also helps to have the right support group. If you want to develop a positive attitude, but continue to socialise with negative people then everything becomes that much tougher. Another hurdle is what I call the 'waiting game'. A lot of us are waiting for something to happen, then we'll change. Fortunately it doesn't work that way, we need to change our attitude first.

“Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” - Francesca Reigler

Life is all about choices, and choosing eventually becomes an attitude. When someone does something that annoys me, in the traffic for example, I choose the way I react to it. I can choose to let it upset me or I can choose to let it go. Some of you might say, 'I just can't help it.' That's like saying, 'Someone else controls me.' They usually send people like that for observation. Take control of your life, start by developing a healthy attitude.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” - Brian Tracy

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” - Thomas Jefferson

Writing this article reminded me of an article I read a while back, 'Be Here Now' by Terry Winchester. Click here to read the article, and be honest with yourself while reading it....

Good News vs Bad News

“Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules” - Douglas Adams

The world we live in today thrives on bad news and I think I have finally figured out why. If you disagree with my opinion on this, I would love to see your opinion, nothing would make me happier than to be wrong about this one.

We like to read about other peoples misfortune, because it makes our life seem so much better. The same goes for gossip. We love to talk about other peoples misfortune for the same reason, we even say bad things about other people because it makes us feel better about ourselves. Let me use an example to illustrate my point. I often hear other people talking about how much weight someone has put on, and I wonder, are they saying this because they are concerned about the other person, or because it makes them feel better about their own
physical appearance? Sadly it's usually it's the latter.

Unfortunately very few of us are even aware of this problem, we are bombarded with bad news on a daily basis, the media industry thrives on it. So we get sucked in and just go with the flow.

“The news media are, for the most part, the bringers of bad news... and it's not entirely the media's fault, bad news gets higher ratings and sells more papers than good news.” - Peter McWilliam

“For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news.” - Gloria Borger

Personally I don't buy the newspaper any more, and when I do pick up a newspaper I usually go straight to the sports section or I just skim through the headlines until I find something of interest. Some people say I am being naive, I should be informed of what is happening around me. How is being informed going to make my life any better? I don't know how many people are aware of energy, it's all around us and in us. The more we talk about something, the more energy is given to it. The more we talk about crime the worse it gets, the more we talk about the current financial situation, the worse it gets. If we all started talking about the situation being better, it would eventually start being better. Of course it would take years to undo what's been done, but at least it would be a start.

Thankfully I have found a website with a difference, South Africa - The Good News, click here to check it out.

My wife sometimes says I'm too positive for my own good, and sometimes she's right, but being positive puts a smile on my face and that's all that really matters. I must say though, it gets very lonely being one of the only positive people I know. So here's a message to all you positive people out there, you are not alone, and don't let the negativity on this planet get to you. You are needed more than you think.

Smile, it's infectious!

What's important?

“Infinitely more important than sharing one's material wealth is sharing the wealth of ourselves -- our time and energy, our passion and commitment, and, above all, our love.”
- William E. Simon

We spend most of our time working so that can afford to live a certain lifestyle that we forget why we are actually on this planet. Do you think we were created to work 8-12 hours a day until the age of 65 and then try and enjoy life when we are actually too old to enjoy it to it's fullest? My logical mind tells me there is something wrong with our current perception of life. I have come to the realization that relationships with friends and family are far more important than material possessions. Think about it, when we leave this planet to wherever it is we go, what do people remember most? What we owned or the type of person we were? What do we remember most about people close to us who have passed on? What they owned or the relationship we had with them?

“That which you create in beauty and goodness and truth lives on for all time to come. Don't spend your life accumulating material objects that will only turn to dust and ashes.”
- Denis Waitley

The reason I have changed my outlook on life is that I am going to be a parent in a few months, and I remember my own childhood. My father wasn't around as often as he should have been, he was too busy working to give us a certain lifestyle. But did you know that children need something far more precious than material things in their developing years. They need the most precious thing of all, our time. When we give our children a new toy, how long does it keep them happy for? Depends on the toy, but give a child your time and attention and they will cherish it forever. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting the best for your family, but if it means sacrificing quality time with them you need to take a long hard look at the situation. And sometimes we think we know what is best but we don't take the time to discuss it with those close to us.

“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.”
- Richard L. Evans

I have just started reading a new book and in it I read something profoundly true, 'We do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within us, and allowing that goodness to emerge.' The same thing applies to happiness, 'We do not become happy by trying to be happy, but by finding the happiness that is already within us, and allowing that happiness to emerge.' The buying or accumulating of material things will only make us temporarily happy, until we need our next fix.

“Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.”
- Mark Twain

Sometimes we even treasure our material possessions more than we do our relationships. How often has it happened that a friendship has been ruined because of something as silly as a broken possession? And did you know that by nature we are hoarders, we keep things packed away in our cupboards for one day when we might need it, and usually that day never comes. My wife and I try and do a clean out every 6 months, and we battle to let go of some of our possessions, even though we haven't used them for quite some time. And with Christmas around the corner, now is a really good time to do a clean out and give some of your unused items to someone who actually needs it and will have a use for it.

Our material possessions do not define who we are, so I urge everyone to make more time for each other and more time for yourself, I know I'm going to.

“Increase of material comforts, it may be generally laid down, does not in any way whatsoever conduce to moral growth.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

“Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.”
- John Wooden

Dreams

“You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'”
- George Bernard Shaw

As children we all dreamt of becoming something, yet how many of us have lived out those dreams? As we grow up all sorts of outside influences affect our dreams. We are told it's a silly dream, we'll never make a living doing it or no-one in our family has ever done that. I even know some people who can't remember what they dreamt of being as a child, that's how badly they have been influenced.

I use myself as an example. Growing up I wanted to be a game ranger, but when the time came to make that final decision of what path to follow, the advice given to me was that there's no money in being a game ranger. Back then there wasn't, now there is. But it's not about the money, it's about doing what makes you happy. So I followed my second choice, engineering. I really enjoy what I do, but it's not my passion. My passion these days is doing this, sharing my knowledge about how I believe life was originally meant to be. About how to regain the power we were all given at birth.

“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
- Mark Twain

As parents we have a huge responsibility, we have to guide another human being through life, and the best way to do it is to encourage them. Encourage our children to be all that they can be, not what we think they should be. One of the saddest things I have seen is a parent trying to make their child live out the dreams the parent never fore filled, regardless of the child's dreams. And as human beings the best thing we can do is to encourage our family and friends to follow their dreams. I have received many encouraging words about the articles I write, sadly, not from family or close friends, but the encouragement inspires me to carry on.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
- C.S. Lewis

Just because you haven't followed your dream, doesn't mean it's too late. You have the choice to follow your dream part time, make it into a hobby, you never know where it will lead to. So I encourage every one of you to find your passion in life and start taking small steps towards achieving your dream. The first thing you can do is start writing. Write down your dream, and then the steps you believe you need to take to get there. Secondly, find someone you can talk to about your dream, and try to find a positive person, because a negative person will just tell you it can't be done.

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”- Mary Manin Morrissey

And thirdly, believe in yourself, you have no idea how much power you have at your command.

Acceptance & change

“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.” - Unknown

This is a very difficult concept to grasp, even for me, but thankfully I am finally coming to grips with it. Most of us spend so much time and effort trying to change the things we can't, and when we finally realize how futile it is we're too old to appreciate life to it's fullest.

And what it the one thing we try to change the most? Other people.

I was at a lovely wedding this weekend, and the sermon and speeches all had the same message, acceptance. I believe our divorce rate would be far lower if we all understood this simple concept. If we can't accept the way our partner is before we get married, don't get married. If we go into our marriage thinking we can change something about our partner, we will spend most of our time being miserable. The more we try and change someone, the more they will dig their heels in and resist. Acceptance is the key. If we accept our partner, friends, family, colleagues, etc the way they are, they will be far more open to suggestion.

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” - Unknown

Most people go to see psychiatrists hoping to be fixed or have their problems sorted out. Many stop going because it doesn't happen. A psychiatrist can't change you, they can only give you guidance on how to deal with certain situations, change has to come from within.

The bottom line is this. We have no right to change someone else, who are we to think we know what is best for someone else? All we can do is offer guidance. And another thing, people change far easier when they feel safe and secure, so if you feel you can offer guidance to someone, make sure it is in a safe and secure environment.

I wish people would spend half the time and effort they spend on others, on themselves.

“If you don't create change, change will create you.” - Unknown

And one last thing. Never expect something from someone else if you aren't willing to do the same thing yourself.

Below is one of my favorite quotes, and if you really think about it, adopting this attitude can change your life immensely.

"When you change the way you look at things... the things you look at change" - Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Have an awesome week.

Decisions - Part 2

“More than anything else, I believe it's our decisions, not the conditions of our lives, that determine our destiny.” - Anthony Robbins

Two weeks ago I wrote about the importance of making decisions when in the right emotional frame of mind. I can't stress how important this is. Most wrong decisions are made when our emotions are not in sync with our mind. So how do we get into the right frame of mind? A while back I wrote an article on climbing the emotional scale, read it here.

There is also another very important component to decision making, and it is known by many names; 6th sense, hunch, inner voice, gut feel, etc. For the purpose of this article I'm going to call it 'spirit'. How often have we made decisions because something just didn't feel right? Not often enough I believe. That's because most of us have lost touch with our spirit. There is so much noise in our lives at the moment that when our spirit speaks to us we aren't able to hear it.

Last weekend I went for a walk down to the beach and came to a fork in the road. There were no signs indicating which way led where, so how did I decide which one to take? Fortunately the only noise around was the sound of the ocean and the thoughts in my head. So I stilled my mind as best I could, (it is not an easy thing to do, just try it), and took the left fork. Was it the right decision? Well it was for me. Fortunately I had enough time to go back and check where the right fork went, and although it also led to the beach, where it ended up was not nearly as much fun as the left fork.

What point am I trying to make here? I had to make a decision with very little information available to me, both paths led down, so I had to trust my spirit to guide me. Some of you may say I was just lucky, maybe so, but We do make our own luck!

“Make decisions from the heart and use your head to make it work out.” - Sir Girad

What is all this noise that I am talking about? Well it's things that can influence our decision making. Television, radio, magazines, books, people, the list goes on, and too often we make decisions that are influenced by this noise and it ends up being the wrong decision. And then we try to blame this noise, but we are the ones who made the decision, aren't we?

"It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are." - Roy Disney

So when making decisions, be very aware of your emotions, and make the decision from a place of peace. Meditate, pray, go for a walk or workout, whatever it takes to get away from the noise. Your ability to make the right decisions will increase immensely.

"Decisions become easier when your will to please God outweighs your will to please the world." - Anso Coetzer

Try and make one decision from a place of peace. I have decided to be grateful for every day! (because I believe every day is a gift from God.)

Have an awesome week.