Creative Living

Labels

2009-04-27T21:23:00.003+02:00

“If someone sticks a label on you, then it’s their loss. You are who you are, and if they can't accept you as that, too bad for them.” - Gayle Nakama

We all label people, and we are all labeled by people, sadly it’s just the way things are done these days. And by labels I don't only mean the obvious ones like nerd, tart, snob, etc. In my personal life I was labeled a boyfriend, then a husband, now I'm a husband and a father, and when I make my wife angry I am labeled things I can't write here… :) In my working life I was labeled a trainee, then a designer/engineer, then a business owner. And in my social life I have been labeled many things, some good, some bad.

Read more...

Reactions

2009-04-05T21:49:00.002+02:00

“Man's last freedom is his freedom to choose how he will react in any given situation” - Viktor Frankl

This week I'll be borrowing something that my sister emailed me because I believe it is of vital importance. I wrote something along similar lines when I first started my blog and it really is gratifying to know that a respected person agrees with my beliefs, especially when many people close to me think I'm full of it. (to refresh your memory on my article, click here…)

The 90/10 Principle by Dr. Stephen R. Covey

10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% of life is decided by how you react…

Limitations

2009-03-30T09:32:00.001+02:00

“Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on your own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.” - Denis Waitley

With young Adam keeping me so busy I haven't had much time to write an article this week, so I am borrowing something that a good friend of mine sent me. While I am totally against animals in captivity, this story really helps us realize the truth about ourselves. We might be a technically advancing species, but when it comes to our own potential, we have sadly forgotten our own abilities.

Change

2009-03-23T08:27:00.003+02:00

This weeks article is slightly different thanks firstly to the birth of my son Adam on Friday morning and secondly a realization I had along my journey of self development.

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family” - Anthony Brandt

Firstly, along with the birth of my first child comes a whole lot of change, and I can either embrace it or stress myself out and resist it. And the same applies to all aspects of change. A lot of us are so comfortable with our life as it is that the minute something happens that takes us out of our comfort zone we become anxious, which leads to stress, which leads to health problems, which leads to more stress, until one day we are so worked up we can't even remember where it all started. The sooner we can all learn to embrace change, the sooner we will find peace and harmony, after all, change is inevitable and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Think of a surfer, the difficult part is fighting against the waves and getting out to the breakers, the easy part is riding the wave back to the shore. So ride the waves of change in life, and have fun doing it.
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” - Karen Kaiser Clark

Secondly, my blog has always been about how we are responsible for our own lives, which we are, but I have come to realize we are cannot create our life alone. My wife and I did not create Adam alone, we had help, our creator helped us create a new life. We co-created. With this realization comes more change. I will be renaming my blog to 'Co-Creative Living' and at the same time I will be gradually moving it to a new system, one which I find more flexible and easier to use. To check it out click here. (Let me know what you think of my new blog please...)

“Change is the only constant” - Proverb quotes

I look forward to sharing many more articles on Co-Creative Living with you, have an awesome week.

Patience

2009-03-16T07:26:00.005+02:00

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” - Arnold H. Glasgow

Well, with the due date for Baby Thomas past, I thought I'd write about something we need a lot of at the moment. And something a lot of us have very little of these days. It seems to me that the whole world has gone mad, everything is such a rush, and I know from experience that when you rush things mistakes happen.

I haven't always been a patient person, but living on London for 2 years helped me become a lot more patient. When I first got there the public transport system used to raise my stress levels far too much, but after a few months I realized that there was nothing I could do about the late trains, tubes & buses. So I would just pull out my book and read. Why is it that we let things we have no control over stress us out so much? Are we all becoming control freaks? I'd love to read your thoughts on this...

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” - St. Francis de Sales

Having learnt a bit of patience when it comes to external matters was relatively easy, being patient with myself was another matter completely. Until recently I hadn't even realize I was being impatient with myself. Thankfully my wife pointed it out to me. I have been reading loads of self development books and wondering why life hasn't changed dramatically. The reason..., I was trying too hard and trying to change too much at once. So, I have stopped reading too many books, I am reading an intensely spiritual book at the moment, which is probably going to take me 2 years to complete, but as I have realized, there is no rush when it comes to living life.

“Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown.” - Soren Kierkegaard

When you plant a seed, do you dig it up all the time to see what is going on, to check whether it is growing or not? (If you do, let me know, I'd love to chat to you.) We plant the seed in good soil and water it trusting that it will grow in it's own time. So why don't we trust that life will treat us the same way? I'm not saying we must become lazy and just sit around and wait for things to happen, do what can be done and trust that the results will come at exactly the right time. The minute we become impatient, we become stressful, and when we are stressful we are not in tune with the universe.

“He that can have patience, can have what he will.” - Benjamin Franklin

“The principle part of faith is patience.” - George MacDonald

I believe that if we could all learn to be patient with ourselves and with others we could spread a lot more peace and harmony on this wonderful planet of ours. I hope you start believing it too....

Our true self

2009-03-09T09:14:00.003+02:00

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess

Do we really know ourselves, our true selves? Or do we only know the person we have become through years of conditioning? We were all born perfect, but then, in those first few months of our lives our conditioning starts. Our family and close family friends start pointing out our imperfections. And this carries on for the rest of our lives, and eventually we start believing what our family and friends say to be the truth. So what do we do? We start behaving in ways that will help us fit in with what is considered 'normal'.

I look back on my life and wonder where I would be today is I had done things differently. I have always been shy and what is considered a bit of an introvert. To try and counteract my shyness I did things to try and 'fit' in. I started smoking at a young age, not because I enjoyed it, but because the 'friends' I had at the time were doing it. I started drinking at a young age too, this helped me overcome my shyness and I believed made me more like able, I was more 'fun' to be with. I even started saying and doing things that were out of character, all just to try and get people to like me.

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin

Now that I have decided to try and discover my true self my life has become really tricky. All the friends I have made have started changing their opinion about me and sadly our friendships are no longer what they used to be. I'm not as much 'fun' to be with as I used to be. I'm even considered "arrogant" and "a know it all" by some. Luckily, what matters most to me is what I think of myself and I know my true friends will always be around.

"I was once afraid of people saying, "Who does she think she is?" Now I have the courage to stand and say, "This is who I am."" - Oprah Winfrey

So why are we constantly trying to live up to other peoples expectations? Why are we constantly trying to "keep up with the Jone's"? The answer is simple, but scary. Our ego convinces us that we will be happy if more people like us and if we have what "the Jone's" have. There is a common misconception that only men have an ego, every single one of us has an ego. Most of us are our ego. I have yet to meet a person who has shed their ego.

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." - Will Rogers

Most people reading this will feel offended in some way, that's the ego's self defense mechanism kicking in. Feel good?

"Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have." - Doris Mortman

So how do we discover our true selves? And why would we want to? All it takes is a decision, once the decision has been taken, our inner guidance takes over. The reason, inner peace. Have you ever seen a new born sleeping? Can you imagine experiencing the inner peace that the new born is experiencing? It is possible. Imagine waking up in the morning not having to worry about a thing, doing what you want to do, not what you feel you have to do. It is possible...., we just need to discover our true self.

"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts." - Albert Einstein

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." - Carl Jung

Resentment

2009-03-02T08:50:00.003+02:00

“Resentment is one burden that is incompatible with your success. Always be the first to forgive; and forgive yourself first always.” - Dan Zadra

What is resentment? Well, according to the Wikipedia, "Resentment (also called rancour, or ranklement) is an emotion of anger or bitterness felt repeatedly, as a result of a real, or imagined, wrong done."

The end bit is quite interesting, "...a real or imagined wrong done." Some of us have resentment for events that didn't even happen, we just imagined them, or we perceived a situation in an incorrect way. Such is the power of the human mind.

“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” - Malachy McCourt

I battle to understand why us humans cling to resentment so strongly. Our resentment towards others does nothing but damage ourselves. Do you think the person, or persons you are harbouring resentment towards are affected in any way? They just carry on with their lives as they would usually, while you are slowly killing yourself. Yes, resentment can actually kill you. How? Did you know that every single human being is born with the possibility of developing cancer? And before I go any further, let me upset your world even more, cancer is a disease of the mind, not the body. This is where most of you either stop reading or put up your defenses, because I have just challenged a belief you have held for so long, and your beliefs make life comfortable....

Have you ever wondered why, with all the advances in modern medicine, there is still no cure for cancer? And there never will be a medical cure, the cure will be one of understanding. Cancer is your bodies way of telling you there is something wrong with your mind, something wrong with your thinking. And resentment is the main cause for cancer. In the movie, "You Can Heal Your Life" a woman is interviewed. She did research on finding out what the common thread was in people who had been cured of cancer, of course the answer was that they changed the way they thought, about themselves and life. So, before you disagree with what I'm writing, do some research of your own.

“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head” - Ann Landers

So how do we let go of resentment? Forgiveness is the only way, forgiveness of yourself and others. To forgive someone, you don't have to physically go up to them and tell them, although it would help, you can just forgive them in your own mind. How do you know if you have truly forgiven? The person or situation wont dominate your thoughts as much and you will feel a slight shift towards joy.

Some of us harbour resentment so deeply in our subconscious that we aren't even aware of it, but sooner or later, your body will let you know, and if it does, do the hard work, you're worth it.

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder

Problems

2009-02-23T07:00:00.003+02:00

“Don't tell your problems to people: eighty percent don't care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them” - Lou Holtz

We all have problems, some of us have bigger, more complicated problems than others, or so we think. You see, all problems are relative, relative to the person perceiving the problems, and relative to the situation. Why is it that we like to talk about our problems so much, and why is it that we all feel so empowered when talking to others about their problems? I have always wondered why people talk about the same problems over and over again, and I found a simple explanation in an unlikely book. People enjoy their problems, and they enjoy talking about their problems because it makes them feel united, it's almost like a bonding experience.

The really sad thing is that when you ask someone what they have done about a certain problem, most of them will say they don't know what to do. And even sadder is that they haven't even bothered to try and find out what can be done. The only logical explanation to that can be that the problem really isn't a problem, just something they like to talk about....... or is it?

“People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.” - Chuck Palahniuk

This quote explains a lot. Some of us can't imagine what our lives would be like if we didn't have problems, what on earth would we talk about? What would we do with our spare time? Some of us are even defined by our problems. So what types of problems are there?
Financial problems - possible solution, adjust your current lifestyle?
Health problems - possible solution, seek advice from a trustworthy source?
Weight problems - possible solution, change your diet, start exercising, see a dietitian?
Relationship problems - possible solution, seek counselling?
Personal problems - possible solution, life coaching?
Work problems - possible solution, change your career, job, speak to HR?
The list goes on......, but what we all need to realize is that there is always a solution to a problem, no matter how big it may seem at the time.

“Focus 90% of your time on solutions and only 10% of your time on problems.” - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Most of us spend most of our time mulling over a problem trying to find a solution, and most of the time when we stop mulling, the solution comes to us. I often catch myself getting stuck on a problem, so I decide to take a break or do something else for a few minutes and the answer usually comes to me, and I also always try to look at things differently, which really annoys my family and friends. A lot of my family and friends will see a problem and I'll see a solution, the reason they get annoyed, well, they can't talk about the problem any more.....

“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” - Albert Einstein

Now for the controversial part of my article. Did you know that most of the problems we have in our lives we created ourselves? 'But I didn't cause the current global financial crisis!' you may say. Well actually, you did, we all did in some small way. The human race is responsible for it and if you aren't part of the human race, I'd love to meet you. And the more personal the problem, the more responsible we are. Take our health for example, unless the problem is hereditary, we are responsible for it. (Even hereditary problems can be cured if done correctly!)

“The way we see the problem is the problem” - Stephen R. Covey

So why are there problems? I believe problems exist to let us know we are doing something wrong. If I have a health problem, it's my bodies way of telling me there is something wrong with my thinking. You see, only our mind can create, our body can't create without our mind telling it to do so. If I have a financial problem, it's because I have been creating lack in my life, and so on...

Take responsibility for your life, start by being grateful for what you have, stop giving your problems so much power over your life by talking about them less, and try to see the positive side to seemingly negative situations. Your problems will gradually start to disappear, and you can enjoy life on this wonderful planet we call home. That's why we are here, to enjoy our lives!
I leave you this week with one of my favourite quotes...

“If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.” - Richard Bach

Beliefs

2009-02-16T07:00:00.002+02:00

“I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.” - Bertrand Russell

Oh boy, this is a really touchy subject, but one I love to discuss. Did you know that there are over 40 religions in the world? Which one is right? Well, that all depends on who you are talking to. If you are talking to a Christian, obviously Christianity must be right, if you are talking to a Jew, then Judaism must be right, and so on.... and yes, there are extremists who will die to defend their beliefs.

What would happen to society if a discovery was made that proved all religions to be wrong in their teachings? Would us humans be able to cope? You see, all religious beliefs are based on faith, none of us were there to witness what actually happened so we believe what we are told, and the sad thing is, this extends beyond religion. I could start a rumour right now and if I could get enough people to believe it, it wouldn't matter if it was the truth or not.

“If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?” - William Somerset Maugham

The good news is that we can change our beliefs whenever we want to. (In the past we might have been burned on the cross! Isn't it a shame that humans were killed by other humans because their beliefs didn't conform to the norm at the time....) And I'm not only talking about religious beliefs, I'm talking about self beliefs too.

I was raised as a christian and went to an Anglican church, but I never felt comfortable going to an Anglican church, so I started going to a non-denominational church which I really enjoyed for a while. Now I don't go to church at all because there are just some aspects and teachings I feel uncomfortable with. Does this make me a bad person? The sad thing is, you are probably judging me as you read this, doing the exact opposite of what the bible teaches.

"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:" - Luke 6:37

Enough about religious beliefs, lets get to self beliefs. If I believe I am useless at something, guess what, I will be. It doesn't matter if all my family and friends tell me otherwise, what I believe is what really matters.

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs.” - Anthony Robbins

Most of our self beliefs come from the way we were raised as children. Fortunately as adults we have the power to believe whatever we want to, the problem is that most of us are unaware of our self beliefs. To find out what our self beliefs are, we need to ask some pretty difficult questions, and even more importantly, answer them honestly!
Do I respect myself?
Does it show in the way I behave?
Does it show in the way I dress?
Does it show in the way I eat & drink?
Do I love myself? (not the arrogant kind of love, the caring kind of love.)
Does it show in my love for others?
Am I a good partner/husband/wife/father/mother?
Am I good at my job?

The list goes on....

If you are in a relationship, ask your partner to answer the questions too, if there are any differences, they need to be discussed. It's no good if I believe I'm a good husband and my wife disagrees. And don't let the discussion become emotional, it's just a discussion, not a life threatening event.

“The outer conditions of a person's life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” - James Allen

"Just because you believe it, doesn't mean it's the truth." - Brynn Thomas

"Believe and your belief will create the fact." - William James

I read some disturbing news yesterday. More humans have died at the hands of other humans than through natural disasters!
What is wrong with us?

Adjacent Possibilities

2009-02-09T07:00:00.000+02:00

“The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.” - George Bernard Shaw

Have you ever heard the term 'Adjacent Possibilities"? I hadn't, until the latest book I'm reading. I don't mean to alarm you, but we are where we are today because of all the decisions we have made, conscious & unconscious. There is no one else to blame, they have all been our decisions. We have all made decisions we have regretted at some point in our lives, but they can't be changed, we have hopefully learned form them. Can you imagine where you would be right now if you had made a different decision at some turning point in your life?

That's what adjacent possibilities is all about. Our current thoughts have adjacent possibilities running alongside them all the time, some better, some worse. And we can always choose which ones to follow. If you like the current thought, stick to it, or choose an even better one, if you don't like it, definitely choose a better one.

“The vast possibilities of our great future will become realities only if we make ourselves responsible for that future.” - Gifford Pinchot

Now most of us would say, 'I can't help what I'm thinking or feeling!'. If that's the case, we are currently living what is known as a reactionary emotional existence. Let me explain, when we wake up in the morning we can either decide to have a good day, or we could let the day decide for us. If I get up in the morning and decide that today is going to be a good day and I walk out the bedroom door and kick my toe, two adjacent possibilities are present. I could either get angry and say to myself, 'If that's how my day is starting, the rest is going to be a disaster!' OR I could silently scold myself for being clumsy and just tell myself to be more careful in future. If I had reacted angrily without thinking it would have been an emotional reaction. Some of us go through our whole day reacting to every situation as it occurs in which case we are living a reactionary emotional existence.

“The vast possibilities of our great future will become realities only if we make ourselves responsible for that future.” - Gifford Pinchot

To start becoming responsible for our own lives, we need to understand how life really works. I could buy the most powerful computer in the world, but it would just be piece of junk if I didn't know how to use it. I often have discussions about my belief system, and I have often been told my mind is 'too open'. All I want to find out is the truth, and to find the truth I have to have an open mind. Why do I want to find out the truth? Because I want to live the best life I possibly can, and to do that I need to get as close to my creator as I possibly can. But that's a discussion all on it's own!

“Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities” - Terry Josephson

Every time I need to make a conscious decision I remind myself of the adjacent possibilities, and I always try to choose the thoughts that bring me feelings of joy and happiness, and if something bad is happening and I feel I have no control over it, I look for the lesson or the best possible outcome and then I let it go. Why don't you start choosing your thoughts and emotional reactions, it really is empowering, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes, just like any other habit.

“The optimist lives on the peninsula of infinite possibilities; the pessimist is stranded on the island of perpetual indecision.” - William Arthur Ward

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” - Jamie Paolinetti

Control

2009-02-02T07:00:00.000+02:00

Before I get to this weeks article I would like to invite all of you to join my social network. I have created an online social network for 'Creative Living'. It's similar to facebook, once you have signed up you can start discussions, download photo's, video, etc. The reason I started it is for like minded people to connect and discuss some of the concepts I write about, ask questions and share experiences. It's going to be interesting to see just how many of my readers join, it'll be an indication as to how many really want to learn how to create their own life and how many like being controlled...., which brings me to this weeks article. To sign up, click here.

"What I do say is that no man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent." - Abraham Lincoln

How many of us are in some form of relationship where one person tries to exert control over the other? Many years ago, in my very first serious relationship I was the one doing the controlling. Back then I was incredibly insecure, and I could never quite understand why my partner was with me. What was such a lovely person doing with little old me? So, I tried control what she wore, what she ate, who she spoke to, what she did with her money, what she did with her spare time. I basically tried to control her life. My logic at the time was that the more control I had over her the more she belonged to me. Rather scary how our minds and our ego can trick us. Fortunately I learnt a lot from that relationship and a few others and I am now secure enough to understand that my wife is with me because of who I am.

"No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys." - Doug Horton

No human being has the right to control another, there are no wedding vows out there that mention control. I know a lot of people who are in relationships where the one person controls the other person by manipulating certain conditions. Generally the person doing the controlling is insecure about something in their life, they might not even be aware of it. (The ego is very cunning). And sometimes the one being controlled is totally aware of the controlling and accepts it for some or other reason, usually fear of what life might be like if they decided to end the relationship.

In my humble opinion, ending the relationship should only be done once all other alternatives have been explored, counselling is usually the best one can do, if you can find a good counsellor. Of course, trying to get the insecure partner to agree to counselling can be quite tricky, they generally believe all the problems are their partners.

In a nutshell, never give your freedom away, and if you decide to, make the most of your decision. Stop complaining about it, and get on with living. We can create the life of our dreams, we just need to start believing we can.

"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still." - Tao Te Ching

Self concepts / Self perceptions

2009-01-26T07:55:00.002+02:00

'An individuals self-concept is the core of his personality. It affects every aspect of human behavior: the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change. A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life.' - Dr. Joyce Brothers

Have you looked in the mirror lately? What do you think of the person you are looking at? The reason I ask this, is that it doesn't really matter what other people think of you, but it is extremely important what you think of you. You see, what we think of ourselves can determine our success in life.
Below is a list of self concepts:

- Creativity
- Public Speaking
- Memory
- Learning
- Popularity
- Relationships
- Physical looks
- Parent
- Sport
- Organizational skills
- Time management / Productivity
- Abilities
- Earning power
- Promotional abilities
- Annual worth
- Financial planning, etc. (the list could go on)

If we believe we have a poor memory, then guess what, we are going to have a poor memory. If we believe we are a bad parent, then guess what, we are going to be a bad parent, and so it goes on.

'People only see what they are prepared to see.' - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Does what I have written make sense? I know people who need to be told that they are this, that or the other, just so that they can feel better about themselves. The sad thing is that until they believe it themselves, they never will feel better about themselves. I used to be very insecure, and doubt my abilities, and it has taken some hard work, and I am finally beginning to believe that I can do anything if I really put my mind to it, and I will be teaching my children the exact same thing.

Try this quick exercise. Write down the list of self concepts, and next to each one write down what you believe about yourself, and be totally honest. Now choose the ones you would like to change.

For example, next to 'Memory' I wrote, 'I have a bad memory' and I definitely want to change that, so I cross out what I wrote and wrote what I want to be true, 'I have a good memory'. Now I have to train my brain, so just like any training I start off slowly, I repeat to myself, 'I have a good memory' 20 times. If I'm on my own I even say it out loud and once I get really comfortable doing it I say it to myself while looking in the mirror. Seems a bit silly, but what have you got to lose? I'll let you know how well it works in a few weeks, but please
don't wait for my results, start changing your self concepts today. You're worth it!

'What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly.' - Lao-tzu

'Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.' - Carl Jung

For more about self concepts / self perception, check out this great site.... Authentic-Self.com

Habits

2009-01-19T09:02:00.003+02:00

“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character...” - Stephen R. Covey

We all have habits, some good, some bad. Some conscious, some unconscious. Most of our unconscious habits are formed during our childhood and we aren't even aware of them until we start looking deep within. A habit doesn't have to be something you physically do, it can be a thought pattern or self concept as well. I am going to be a parent in the near future so when I read my personal development books I always notice the little gems of advice about parenting. I'm busy reading a book by Brian Tracy called 'Million Dollar Habits' and I have posted an extract which reveals two bad habits most of us develop from childhood. View the post here. It wouldn't be fair to blame our parents for them, they did the best they could with the information available to them at the time, and we are now adults anyway. (We are now responsible for our own personal development.)

“Mindless habitual behavior is the enemy of innovation.” - Rosabeth Moss Kanter

They say it takes 21 consecutive days to break a habit, but I find that a bit of a generalization. I feel it all depends on the habit and how deeply it is entrenched within us. Take smoking for example, with certain people it can take years to break the habit. The reason for this, they have become dependant on the habit, they can't imagine their life without that one little pleasure, regardless of the health risks. (I should know, I used to be a smoker...)

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken” - Samuel Johnson

Breaking a habit is very similar to setting goals, we need to apply the same principles, and it all starts with a decision. Below are the nine steps for successful goal setting and
I will show you how they apply to changing habits.
1 - Write down the goal/habit in detail.
2 - Write down the reason for wanting to achieve the goal/change the habit.
3 - Make sure the goal/new habit is achievable.
4 - Break the goal/habit into smaller steps.
5 - Set deadlines for each step.
6 - Share the goal/habit with someone close to you.
7 - Visualizing how we will feel once we have achieved the goal/changed the habit is vital.
8 - We must continually measure our progress.
9 - We must reward ourselves once we have achieved each smaller step.

The trick here is diligence. So many of us start off well, then we get distracted by the busy-ness of our lives. Successful goal setting is a habit in itself. So what do we do?

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” - Jim Rohn

We firstly need to develop the habit of successful goal setting. To do this we must choose a goal we know we can achieve, something small. Write down the nine steps and measure ourselves every day, write down the results, no matter how trivial. Once we have achieved our first goal, we then choose a goal that is a bit more difficult to achieve, and so on. By doing this we form the habit of goal setting, and once we have developed this habit, life becomes an adventure.

“Good habits, once established are just as hard to break as are bad habits” - Robert Puller

Here is something fun to do, imagine it is five years in the future. Now write a letter to a close friend telling them how wonderful your life is, write as if you are living the life of your dreams, and be specific, write about the house you live in, the car you drive, your career and interests, your partner, and write with passion and share how you feel about your life. Let your imagination flow freely.....have lots of fun.

Affects of parenting

2009-01-19T08:40:00.009+02:00

Below is an extract from a book, 'Million Dollar Habits' by Brian Tracy

Starting early in childhood, as the result of the things your parents do and say, you begin to learn the two basic negative habit patterns that then become the most destructive influences in your life as an adult.

The first negative habit pattern that you learn is called the inhibitive negative habit pattern. This is what soon becomes the fear of failure, risk and loss. As a child, your natural urge is to explore your environment. You eagerly reach out to touch, taste, feel and experiment with everything around you. But often your parents react and even over react to this behaviour by discouraging you as much as possible. They say, “No! Get away from that! Don’t touch that! Leave that alone!” Many parents reinforce their words and threats with spankings and punishment.

Children need love like roses need rain. Love is as important to the developing child as is food. Any interruption of the flow of unconditional love to the child causes the child to feel nervous and frightened. Psychologists say that virtually all adult problems are rooted in the phenomena of “love withheld” in early childhood.

When your parents become angry with you as the result of your natural desire and drive to explore your world and your environment, you have no way of understanding that this is because of their fear for your safety. Instead, as a child, you merely react and respond with the idea that, “Every time I try or touch or taste something new or different, my mother or father gets angry at me. It must be because I am incapable and incompetent. It must be because I am no good. It must be because I can’t do it.”

Fear of Trying Anything New

This feeling of “I can’t” begins the development of the fear of failure. If you are discouraged or punished too often as a child, very early in life you will become fearful of trying new things. This fear will then carry over into later childhood, adolescence and adult life. Thereafter, whenever you think of doing something new or different, something that entails risk or uncertainty, your first reaction will be “I can’t!” As soon as you say the words “I can’t” to yourself, you will begin immediately to think of all the reasons why such a thing is not possible for you.

You will think and talk in terms of failure, rather than success. You will think of the uncertainties and all the possible risks of loss that may occur. Before you even try something new, you will talk yourself out of it.

The kindest words that a parent can tell his or her child, in addition to the words “I love you,” are the words “You can do anything that you set your mind to.” It is amazing how many people’s lives have been dramatically affected by the influence of a single person, a parent, relative or friend, who simply told them, over and over again, “You can do it.”

The second fear that we learn early in life, which then affects us for the rest of our lives, is the fear of rejection, or criticism. We are all sensitive to the opinions of others, especially to the opinions and reactions of our parents when we are growing up. Parents often take advantage of this need to please to control and manipulate their children. The way they do it is by giving or withholding approval and support, based on the behaviour of the child at the moment.

When the child does or says something that the parents don’t like, they immediately become rejecting and critical of the child. Since the approval and support of the parent is like a psychological lifeline to the emotional health of the child, the child is immediately affected and pulls back from the behaviour in order to regain the love and approval of the parents.

Parents very soon slip into the habit of manipulating the child with “carrot and stick” treatment. They alternate with approval and disapproval, with compliments and criticism, to control and manipulate the child’s behaviour.

As a child, you are too young to understand what is going on. You know only one thing. The love and approval of your parents is indispensable to your well-being. It is the key to your emotional health. You therefore learn that, “If you want to get along, you go along.” At an early age, you begin to conform your behaviours to earn the approval, and avoid the disapproval, of your parents.

The Approval of Others

As you grow older, you become increasingly sensitive to the approval or disapproval of others, starting with members of your family, and then your friends and associates. Teenagers especially become extremely sensitive to whether or not they are liked or disliked by their peers. Instead of being fearless and spontaneous, completely open, honest and expressive, they begin to shape their behaviours and conform to whatever they feel their peers will approve of at the moment.

The child does not know why the parent is behaving this way. The child simply concludes that, “Every time I do something that Mommy or Daddy disapproves of, they stop loving me. Therefore, whatever it is, I have to do what makes them happy. I have to do what pleases them. I have to do what they want if I want to be safe.”

This feeling generates what is called the “compulsive negative habit pattern,” which is characterized by the words “I have to!” As an adult, the child who was subjected to disapproval and destructive criticism becomes hypersensitive to the attitudes and opinions of others. They are continually saying, “I have to do this” or “I have to do that.” When the fear of rejection becomes extreme, the individual becomes so hypersensitive to the opinions of others that he or she cannot make a decision until he or she is absolutely convinced that everyone in the world around them will approve and support the decision.

The worst situation of all, which is quite common in most people, is the combined feeling of, “I have to” but “I can’t.” The individual feels that he has to do something in order to win the approval of an important person in his life, but simultaneously, he is afraid of trying anything new or different, and becomes extremely sensitive to the reactions and comments of anyone around him.

The root cause of negative habit patterns can almost always be traced back to “destructive criticism” in early childhood. Often, destructive criticism is accompanied by physical punishment. In either or both cases, the child very quickly loses his or her natural spontaneity and becomes fearful and hypersensitive to others.

All the other fears that hold people back - the fears of loss, of poverty, of embarrassment, of ridicule, of ill health, of the loss of love of someone, of public speaking, of taking a chance, of starting or trying something new or different – are all rooted in the fears of failure and rejection that begin in early childhood.

Living

2009-01-11T22:57:00.002+02:00

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” - Anthony Robbins

I know a lot of successful people, they might not think they are successful, but they are. The problem is, they are successful in their respective careers, but they aren't all that successful at living life. How can I say this? Well, in my humble opinion, if you are successful at living life, you are happy, and happy people don't complain a lot.

I have been told I'm pretty good at what I do, career wise. And I only got to be good by studying and working hard. We probably all studied and worked hard to get where we are in our respective careers, but sadly we haven't applied the same diligence to our life skills. If we want to live successfully, we need to find out how life really works. I used to think that life just happened to me, and that I had to do the best I could with what happened. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was introduced to the truth a couple of years ago when I watched the movie 'The Secret'. Ever since then I have been learning more and more about what power we actually have at our fingertips.

I wish I had been exposed to the truth at a much younger age, I can only imagine how different my life would be then. Thankfully it's never to late to learn. I believe the laws of the universe should be taught to us in high school, and some are. The law of gravity is a universal law, but it doesn't really help us understand ourselves any better. There are seven fundamental laws we should all be taught,
1 - The Law of Mentalism
2 - The Law of Correspondence
3 - The Law of Vibration
4 - The Law of Polarity
5 - The Law of Rhythm
6 - The Law of Cause and Effect
7 - The Law of Gender

and there are many other laws, but they all fall into these main laws. The law of attraction for instance would consist of 1,3 & 6. Basically I feel we should be taught the truth about life.

“Without the way , there is no going; without the truth, there is no knowing; without the life, there is no living.” - Thomas Kempis

I know a lot of you reading this don't really believe it, but this might shock you! Just because you don't believe it, doesn't mean it's not the truth. Can you imagine how different your lives would be if you had been taught the truth right from the beginning? Imagine knowing your true creative power from an early age!

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living.” - Gail Sheehy

What I am trying to say this week is this. To be really successful at living we need to learn more about how living really works. Become the driver of your life, not the passenger.

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.” - William James

Goals

2009-01-05T09:23:00.003+02:00

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” - Albert Einstein

It's that time of year again, the start of a new year, the time when we make new years resolutions and tell ourselves that this year is going to be different. How many of us stuck to our new years resolutions last year? If we want this year to be different, we are going to have to do things differently to last year. One thing we are not taught at school is goal setting, and I believe it is something we should be taught from an early age.

“Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.” - Fitzhugh Dodson

When we set out on a journey to a place we have never been before, we buy a map or ask someone for directions. Can you imagine how long it would take to reach our destination if we just got in our car and started driving! The same applies to our life, if we don't write down our goals and refer back to them frequently we may never achieve them. And when we follow directions, we constantly look for landmarks along the journey that let us know we are heading in the right direction. The same goes for setting goals, we need to set smaller goals that lead to our bigger goals.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” - Larry Elder

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” - C.S. Lewis

I know a lot of people who never set any goals, their reason, destiny. They believe they are born the way they are and their life has already been planned for them. Even I used to believe it, and wouldn't it be nice if it were true, we could just go through life dealing with the day to day drama believing we are where we are because it's God's plan and at the end of our life we can then blame God for everything we didn't like in our life. It was a movie that opened my eyes to the truth, 'Bruce Almighty' starring Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman. While the movie is a comedy, it emphasizes free will. And I can't believe in free will and destiny, they completely
contradict each other.

“Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” - William Jennings Bryan

“Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.” - Ambrose Bierce

So if you believe in destiny, I'm sorry, I can't help you, but if you believe you have some control over your life then I'd like to share with you. My first goal for the year is to learn how to set goals effectively, and I'll share what I learn.

I believe we all share one common goal, to be successful at living life, and we can all help each other achieve this goal, by loving each other, encouraging each other, respecting each other and sharing our infinite wisdom.

I leave you this week with a quote to remind you that what happened 5 seconds ago can't be changed!

“It doesn't matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.” — Brian Tracy

Giving

2008-12-22T10:10:00.002+02:00

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” - Kahlil Gibran

It's that wonderful time of year again, the time for giving. And while it is an extremely joyous time, it still saddens me that there has to be a time for giving. Why can't it be like this all year round? I know we can't afford to buy gifts all year, but we don't have to give material gifts. The most precious gift anyone can receive is the gift of love, and the opposite is also true, the cruelest thing we can do is withhold our love from someone close to us.

“If you have much, give of your wealth; If you have little, give of your heart” - Arabian Proverb

I like to think of us channels. All we need to do is channel God's love, the minute we block it the minute things start going wrong. And there are different types of love, the love we have for our children is different to the love we have for our partner, and the love we have for our friends is different to the love we have for our family, so there is nothing wrong with telling your friend you love them.

“To give without any reward, or any notice, has a special quality of its own.” - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When I talk about giving, I'm talking about true giving, and true giving means expecting nothing in return. As soon as we give expecting something in return it becomes conditional. I know a lot of people who are offended when they give a gift and the person receiving doesn't even say thank you. So what! Give because you want to give! The same goes for love, if we give love expecting love in return, we aren't really channeling it, we are
expecting it to do a u-turn. And that sounds rather selfish, doesn't it?

“The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving.” - Albert Einstein

This planet really needs more love and care, so for the sake of future generations start giving gifts that cost nothing, give love, tolerance, understanding, kindness, patience, all the things we seem to expect from others. And most importantly, give these gifts to yourself first, only once you can accept them from yourself can you give them to others.

I leave with an obvious, yet forgotten truth.

“Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get.” - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Feeling comfortable

2008-12-15T09:13:00.003+02:00

“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.” - Denis Waitley

Most of us love to live in our comfort zone, we feel safe and secure there, but as we get older we start having certain regrets. If only I had done this or that. I have recently started doing things I wouldn't usually do. Writing these articles for example. A few years ago I would never have done this, and it was not an easy decision to make. I thought people would think I was becoming one of 'those' people. I feared I would lose all my friends. Thankfully that hasn't happened, although our relationships have definitely changed. I even had some friends tell me that 'I've changed too fast.' Too fast for who? True friends will stick by you no matter what, and those are the ones I want in my life.

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” - Brian Tracy

I have purposefully moved out of my comfort zone twice this year. The first time I went to a bachelor party with a difference. It involved go-kart racing, and there were few people I knew. As the day approached, the usual thing happened, the voice inside my head, (commonly known as reason?), started coming up with all sorts of reasons why I shouldn't go. In the past I would've just let it continue, and it would've eventually come up with a good enough reason which would've been acceptable and I would've cancelled. Luckily through all my reading I've been made aware of my ego, and when it happened I just smiled and ignored my 'voice of reason'. And I'm so glad I did, I really enjoyed the new experience and hopefully will get to do it again.

The second time was on Saturday. I receive emails about events happening on a weekly basis and one has always caught my attention, 'The Coffee Club', and my voice of reason has always made an excuse not to go. But this particular topic, 'Experiencing Life Creatively by Joy Truscott', is what I write about all the time, so I just had to go. My wife agreed to come with me, so having her support made it a bit easier. But something unexpected came up and she couldn't make it. In the past that would've been enough for me to cancel, but I didn't, and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It's amazing how much you can learn in a short space of time, and not only that, it really helps when you hear other people talking about what you believe in. I look forward to the next 'Coffee Club'.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Next time you are invited to do something that is out of your comfort zone, be aware of your 'voice of reason' and try to recognize it for what it really is, your ego. You never know, you might be missing out on the chance of a lifetime, but of course you will never know if you keep on listening.

“To the degree we're not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control of us than we have over ourselves.” - Peter McWilliams

Have an awesome week and keep creating your life. I leave you with a quote which really put a smile on my face....Moooo :)

“To make a goal of comfort or happiness has never appealed to me; a system of ethics built on this basis would be sufficient only for a herd of cattle” - Albert Einstein

Attitude

2008-12-08T09:47:00.004+02:00

“Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us.” - John N. Mitchell

If you had told me this ten years ago I would've thought you were nuts, fortunately I have opened my mind a lot more and started learning more about life. Back then I had a very negative attitude, some of my friends would even say to me, 'Stop being so negative.' My reply would be, 'I'm not being negative, just realistic.' What a load of rubbish. So many of us have this victim mentality, we believe we have no control, or limited control over our life. We get out of bed every morning and believe we just have to deal with whatever life throws at us every day. Well guess what, if that's what we believe, then that's what is going to happen. If we want it to change we need to change our attitude.

I had such a bad attitude that I refused to expect good things to happen to me. My philosophy was, 'Don't expect good things to happen and you won't be disappointed'. And that's exactly what happened, fortunately nothing really bad happened, but I often wonder how different things would be if my attitude had been different. I can't change the past so I am just truly grateful that I have been introduced to the truth.

“Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done.” - Bo Bennett

Changing an attitude is like changing any habit. It's difficult at first, but as you get used to it, it becomes easier. It also helps to have the right support group. If you want to develop a positive attitude, but continue to socialise with negative people then everything becomes that much tougher. Another hurdle is what I call the 'waiting game'. A lot of us are waiting for something to happen, then we'll change. Fortunately it doesn't work that way, we need to change our attitude first.

“Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” - Francesca Reigler

Life is all about choices, and choosing eventually becomes an attitude. When someone does something that annoys me, in the traffic for example, I choose the way I react to it. I can choose to let it upset me or I can choose to let it go. Some of you might say, 'I just can't help it.' That's like saying, 'Someone else controls me.' They usually send people like that for observation. Take control of your life, start by developing a healthy attitude.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” - Brian Tracy

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” - Thomas Jefferson

Writing this article reminded me of an article I read a while back, 'Be Here Now' by Terry Winchester. Click here to read the article, and be honest with yourself while reading it....

Good News vs Bad News

2008-12-01T09:02:00.003+02:00

“Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules” - Douglas Adams

The world we live in today thrives on bad news and I think I have finally figured out why. If you disagree with my opinion on this, I would love to see your opinion, nothing would make me happier than to be wrong about this one.

We like to read about other peoples misfortune, because it makes our life seem so much better. The same goes for gossip. We love to talk about other peoples misfortune for the same reason, we even say bad things about other people because it makes us feel better about ourselves. Let me use an example to illustrate my point. I often hear other people talking about how much weight someone has put on, and I wonder, are they saying this because they are concerned about the other person, or because it makes them feel better about their own
physical appearance? Sadly it's usually it's the latter.

Unfortunately very few of us are even aware of this problem, we are bombarded with bad news on a daily basis, the media industry thrives on it. So we get sucked in and just go with the flow.

“The news media are, for the most part, the bringers of bad news... and it's not entirely the media's fault, bad news gets higher ratings and sells more papers than good news.” - Peter McWilliam

“For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news.” - Gloria Borger

Personally I don't buy the newspaper any more, and when I do pick up a newspaper I usually go straight to the sports section or I just skim through the headlines until I find something of interest. Some people say I am being naive, I should be informed of what is happening around me. How is being informed going to make my life any better? I don't know how many people are aware of energy, it's all around us and in us. The more we talk about something, the more energy is given to it. The more we talk about crime the worse it gets, the more we talk about the current financial situation, the worse it gets. If we all started talking about the situation being better, it would eventually start being better. Of course it would take years to undo what's been done, but at least it would be a start.

Thankfully I have found a website with a difference, South Africa - The Good News, click here to check it out.

My wife sometimes says I'm too positive for my own good, and sometimes she's right, but being positive puts a smile on my face and that's all that really matters. I must say though, it gets very lonely being one of the only positive people I know. So here's a message to all you positive people out there, you are not alone, and don't let the negativity on this planet get to you. You are needed more than you think.

Smile, it's infectious!

What's important?

2008-11-23T20:19:00.002+02:00

“Infinitely more important than sharing one's material wealth is sharing the wealth of ourselves -- our time and energy, our passion and commitment, and, above all, our love.”
- William E. Simon

We spend most of our time working so that can afford to live a certain lifestyle that we forget why we are actually on this planet. Do you think we were created to work 8-12 hours a day until the age of 65 and then try and enjoy life when we are actually too old to enjoy it to it's fullest? My logical mind tells me there is something wrong with our current perception of life. I have come to the realization that relationships with friends and family are far more important than material possessions. Think about it, when we leave this planet to wherever it is we go, what do people remember most? What we owned or the type of person we were? What do we remember most about people close to us who have passed on? What they owned or the relationship we had with them?

“That which you create in beauty and goodness and truth lives on for all time to come. Don't spend your life accumulating material objects that will only turn to dust and ashes.”
- Denis Waitley

The reason I have changed my outlook on life is that I am going to be a parent in a few months, and I remember my own childhood. My father wasn't around as often as he should have been, he was too busy working to give us a certain lifestyle. But did you know that children need something far more precious than material things in their developing years. They need the most precious thing of all, our time. When we give our children a new toy, how long does it keep them happy for? Depends on the toy, but give a child your time and attention and they will cherish it forever. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting the best for your family, but if it means sacrificing quality time with them you need to take a long hard look at the situation. And sometimes we think we know what is best but we don't take the time to discuss it with those close to us.

“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.”
- Richard L. Evans

I have just started reading a new book and in it I read something profoundly true, 'We do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within us, and allowing that goodness to emerge.' The same thing applies to happiness, 'We do not become happy by trying to be happy, but by finding the happiness that is already within us, and allowing that happiness to emerge.' The buying or accumulating of material things will only make us temporarily happy, until we need our next fix.

“Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.”
- Mark Twain

Sometimes we even treasure our material possessions more than we do our relationships. How often has it happened that a friendship has been ruined because of something as silly as a broken possession? And did you know that by nature we are hoarders, we keep things packed away in our cupboards for one day when we might need it, and usually that day never comes. My wife and I try and do a clean out every 6 months, and we battle to let go of some of our possessions, even though we haven't used them for quite some time. And with Christmas around the corner, now is a really good time to do a clean out and give some of your unused items to someone who actually needs it and will have a use for it.

Our material possessions do not define who we are, so I urge everyone to make more time for each other and more time for yourself, I know I'm going to.

“Increase of material comforts, it may be generally laid down, does not in any way whatsoever conduce to moral growth.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

“Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.”
- John Wooden

Dreams

2008-11-17T08:50:00.002+02:00

“You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'”
- George Bernard Shaw

As children we all dreamt of becoming something, yet how many of us have lived out those dreams? As we grow up all sorts of outside influences affect our dreams. We are told it's a silly dream, we'll never make a living doing it or no-one in our family has ever done that. I even know some people who can't remember what they dreamt of being as a child, that's how badly they have been influenced.

I use myself as an example. Growing up I wanted to be a game ranger, but when the time came to make that final decision of what path to follow, the advice given to me was that there's no money in being a game ranger. Back then there wasn't, now there is. But it's not about the money, it's about doing what makes you happy. So I followed my second choice, engineering. I really enjoy what I do, but it's not my passion. My passion these days is doing this, sharing my knowledge about how I believe life was originally meant to be. About how to regain the power we were all given at birth.

“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
- Mark Twain

As parents we have a huge responsibility, we have to guide another human being through life, and the best way to do it is to encourage them. Encourage our children to be all that they can be, not what we think they should be. One of the saddest things I have seen is a parent trying to make their child live out the dreams the parent never fore filled, regardless of the child's dreams. And as human beings the best thing we can do is to encourage our family and friends to follow their dreams. I have received many encouraging words about the articles I write, sadly, not from family or close friends, but the encouragement inspires me to carry on.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
- C.S. Lewis

Just because you haven't followed your dream, doesn't mean it's too late. You have the choice to follow your dream part time, make it into a hobby, you never know where it will lead to. So I encourage every one of you to find your passion in life and start taking small steps towards achieving your dream. The first thing you can do is start writing. Write down your dream, and then the steps you believe you need to take to get there. Secondly, find someone you can talk to about your dream, and try to find a positive person, because a negative person will just tell you it can't be done.

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”- Mary Manin Morrissey

And thirdly, believe in yourself, you have no idea how much power you have at your command.

Acceptance & change

2008-11-10T08:13:00.002+02:00

“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.” - Unknown

This is a very difficult concept to grasp, even for me, but thankfully I am finally coming to grips with it. Most of us spend so much time and effort trying to change the things we can't, and when we finally realize how futile it is we're too old to appreciate life to it's fullest.

And what it the one thing we try to change the most? Other people.

I was at a lovely wedding this weekend, and the sermon and speeches all had the same message, acceptance. I believe our divorce rate would be far lower if we all understood this simple concept. If we can't accept the way our partner is before we get married, don't get married. If we go into our marriage thinking we can change something about our partner, we will spend most of our time being miserable. The more we try and change someone, the more they will dig their heels in and resist. Acceptance is the key. If we accept our partner, friends, family, colleagues, etc the way they are, they will be far more open to suggestion.

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” - Unknown

Most people go to see psychiatrists hoping to be fixed or have their problems sorted out. Many stop going because it doesn't happen. A psychiatrist can't change you, they can only give you guidance on how to deal with certain situations, change has to come from within.

The bottom line is this. We have no right to change someone else, who are we to think we know what is best for someone else? All we can do is offer guidance. And another thing, people change far easier when they feel safe and secure, so if you feel you can offer guidance to someone, make sure it is in a safe and secure environment.

I wish people would spend half the time and effort they spend on others, on themselves.

“If you don't create change, change will create you.” - Unknown

And one last thing. Never expect something from someone else if you aren't willing to do the same thing yourself.

Below is one of my favorite quotes, and if you really think about it, adopting this attitude can change your life immensely.

"When you change the way you look at things... the things you look at change" - Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Have an awesome week.

Decisions - Part 2

2008-11-02T20:01:00.001+02:00

“More than anything else, I believe it's our decisions, not the conditions of our lives, that determine our destiny.” - Anthony Robbins

Two weeks ago I wrote about the importance of making decisions when in the right emotional frame of mind. I can't stress how important this is. Most wrong decisions are made when our emotions are not in sync with our mind. So how do we get into the right frame of mind? A while back I wrote an article on climbing the emotional scale, read it here.

There is also another very important component to decision making, and it is known by many names; 6th sense, hunch, inner voice, gut feel, etc. For the purpose of this article I'm going to call it 'spirit'. How often have we made decisions because something just didn't feel right? Not often enough I believe. That's because most of us have lost touch with our spirit. There is so much noise in our lives at the moment that when our spirit speaks to us we aren't able to hear it.

Last weekend I went for a walk down to the beach and came to a fork in the road. There were no signs indicating which way led where, so how did I decide which one to take? Fortunately the only noise around was the sound of the ocean and the thoughts in my head. So I stilled my mind as best I could, (it is not an easy thing to do, just try it), and took the left fork. Was it the right decision? Well it was for me. Fortunately I had enough time to go back and check where the right fork went, and although it also led to the beach, where it ended up was not nearly as much fun as the left fork.

What point am I trying to make here? I had to make a decision with very little information available to me, both paths led down, so I had to trust my spirit to guide me. Some of you may say I was just lucky, maybe so, but We do make our own luck!

“Make decisions from the heart and use your head to make it work out.” - Sir Girad

What is all this noise that I am talking about? Well it's things that can influence our decision making. Television, radio, magazines, books, people, the list goes on, and too often we make decisions that are influenced by this noise and it ends up being the wrong decision. And then we try to blame this noise, but we are the ones who made the decision, aren't we?

"It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are." - Roy Disney

So when making decisions, be very aware of your emotions, and make the decision from a place of peace. Meditate, pray, go for a walk or workout, whatever it takes to get away from the noise. Your ability to make the right decisions will increase immensely.

"Decisions become easier when your will to please God outweighs your will to please the world." - Anso Coetzer

Try and make one decision from a place of peace. I have decided to be grateful for every day! (because I believe every day is a gift from God.)

Have an awesome week.

Expressing gratitude

2008-10-27T08:24:00.010+02:00

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
- William Arthur Ward

I don't know how many of you remember me mentioning that I had won a weekend away for myself and my wife? Well, this past weekend was that weekend. And in this weeks article, I just want to express my gratitude. Firstly, thanks to God for blessing us with such an awesome prize and secondly to Misty Mountain Reserve for treating us so well. They really have a stunning place and extremely friendly and helpful staff, if you need a relaxing weekend I highly recommend looking them up. Click here to view their website.

Below are a few photo's of the weekend;

Above - the view from our deck.
Below - my lovely wife in front of our chalet.

Above - my lovely wife relaxing at the pool.
Below - the view from a walk I went on.

Above - sunset from our deck.

I now have one more thing to be incredibly grateful for, we just went for our 20 week scan and Baby Thomas is perfectly healthy. So thanks again to God for entrusting us with a new life, and thanks to my wife for looking after Baby Thomas so well.

Did you know, the more you are grateful for, the more you will receive? It's a law, that if used wisely, will bring happiness and abundance into your life. So what have you got to lose, start being grateful and watch your life change.

Next week I'll continue with more on decisions.

Have an awesome week.

“Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.”
- Eileen Caddy

Decisions

2008-10-20T08:30:00.005+02:00

“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”
- Keri Russell

We seldom realize the importance of decision making until it's too late, but did you know, we can learn to become great decision makers. And it all starts with understanding our emotions.

Did you know that every single decision we make is emotional, some more than others. And there is research to prove this theory.

Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio studied people who had received brain injuries to the emotional part of their brain, in all other respects they seemed normal - they just lost the ability to feel emotions.
The interesting thing he found was that their ability to make decisions was seriously impaired. They could logically describe what they should be doing, but in practice they found it very difficult to make decisions about where to live, what to eat, etc.

I believe 90% of us make decisions when we are in the wrong emotional state, the other 10%, well they are the successful people in the world. And of that 90% a lot are too scared to make decisions, in case its the wrong one.

“We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.”
- Gary Collins

I used to think emotional intelligence was just another gimmick, because like most people, I chose to be ignorant, but after doing a bit of reading and research, (deciding to educate myself), I have come to realize it is actually an important life skill.

If we can learn to understand our emotions, we can also learn when to make certain decisions and our lives can only improve.

This is a fascinating topic and one that requires a bit more discussion, so until next week, watch your emotions...

“A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion”
- Chinese Proverb

The truth about disease?

2008-10-12T21:15:00.004+02:00

“Your lifestyle - how you live, eat, emote, and think - determines your health. To prevent disease, you may have to change how you live.”
- Brian Carter

I am so glad I am not the only person on the planet who believes this, unfortunately, very few do, which is why there is so much disease. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN HEALTH! And if you have any children younger than ten, you are responsible for theirs too! And I don't mean just protecting yourselves and your children from viral infections, I'm talking about the serious diseases as well, the most common one being cancer.

Most people will blame something or someone for their disease, it's far easier than taking responsibility. I don't mean to offend anyone with this article, just educate. But if you are offended, it's probably because I have hit a nerve, sorry about that. Anyway, most people who contract a serious disease will blame genetics, it runs in the family. Maybe it does, but do you know you have the power to change that.

Another big blame is our lifestyle and what we eat. Most of the time we have no idea what we are shoveling into our mouths. I often hear people say, 'What I don't know can't harm me'. How naive! The next time you bite into a juicy fruit think about this, unless it's organic, you are eating poison. You washed it, well done, but some of the poison is on the inside, it gets absorbed through the roots of the tree. But it's such a small amount, how much fruit will you consume in your lifetime? And the next time you turn on the tap, be wary, be very wary. You have no idea where that water comes from and if it has been treated correctly.

So what can we do about all this? Firstly, open your mind, because what I'm about to tell you will challenge your thinking. Secondly, open your mind, and thirdly, open your mind. Yes, it's that important.

Your body is a very finely tuned instrument which is constantly giving you feedback. So when you get ill, your body is trying to tell you something. Even the common cold, is your body telling you there is something wrong. But I am going to focus on the more serious diseases, and the most common one is cancer. Did you know that every single living organism can contract cancer, even plants? So why are us humans, the rulers of planet earth, the ones who are suffering the most? It's because of our ability to think!

I watched a DVD some time ago, 'You Can Heal Your Life' by Louise Hay, and in it a woman who was suffering from cancer did some research into finding out what all those who were cured had in common. Her findings weren't what you would expect, all these people changed the way they thought, changed their attitude towards life, and changed their diet.

I also read the book 'You Can Heal Your Life' by Louise Hay, and according to her findings, the most common cause of disease are anger and resentment. And this can be towards others and yourself. And the sad thing is, most of us are so used to living with anger and resentment we aren't even aware of it.

When you talk about other people, are you saying nice things or bad things? Bad things = anger & resentment.
When you talk about your life, is it good or bad? Bad = anger & resentment.
When things don't go as planned, can you see any good in the situation? No = anger & resentment.
Can you let go of the past, something you have no control over? No = anger & resentment.
Can you forgive, something God does for you all the time? No = anger & resentment.

The list goes on, but you should get the idea by now.

Unfortunately some people are past the point of any help, but I am so grateful I have learned that I have control over my own health. And I must say, it is a scary responsibility to have, but the scariest part is that soon my wife and I will be responsible for our child's health as well. You see, until the age of about ten, your child is unaware of the power of it's thoughts and attitude, it's all your responsibility!

And if after all this you are still unsure of your powers, there is a new book out, and I can't wait to get my hands on it, 'The Biology of Belief' by Dr. Bruce Lipton. Stunning new scientific discoveries about the biochemical effects of the brain's functioning show that all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts.

At last, some proof, isn't that what we all need? After all, faith is wavering...

“We are the carriers of health and disease - either the divine health of courage and nobility or the demonic diseases of hate and anxiety”
- Joshua Loth Liebman

“The deviation of man from the state in which he was originally placed by nature seems to have proved to him a prolific source of diseases”
- Edward Jenner

“The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease.”
- Thomas Alva Edison

Bring on the homeopaths!!!

The most powerful force in the universe

2008-10-05T19:34:00.007+02:00

"Live to love, and you'll love to live" - Brynn Thomas

Back in 2001 I submitted this quote to an inspirational website, and to my surprise it was published. Back then I meant it as loving your partner, or finding a partner to love. I am now a bit older and a bit wiser. I now believe it applies to all aspects of your life, ALL relationships, business, health, etc.

- Firstly, you need to love yourself, if you can't love who you are, how can you expect someone else to.
- Secondly, you need to love all those close to you, family, friends and pets, what you give you will receive.
- Thirdly, you need to love what you do, and if you don't love what you do, take baby steps towards loving what you do. You will never be successful unless you love doing what you are doing most days of your life.
- And lastly you need to love what you have, your house, your car, in fact all your earthly possessions. If you don't love it, let it go.

You see, love is the most powerful force in the universe, and the more you radiate it, the more you will receive it. (if you disagree, I would love to read your thoughts on the matter, so post a comment on my blog, I dare you!)

Let me use an example. There have been reports of mothers moving cars when their child is in danger, and this is explained as an adrenalin rush. But what caused the adrenalin rush, fear? Maybe, but that fear originated from the love for their child.

My wife sent me an email which helped to explain a few questions I had about life. I just wish I knew where it originated so I could give that person credit. Here it is:

Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, 'I know why.'

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The Six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'

- Live simply.
- Love generously.
- Care deeply.
- Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

- When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
- Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
- Take naps.
- Stretch before rising.
- Run, romp, and play daily.
- Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
- Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
- On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
- On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
- When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
- Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
- Be loyal.
- Never pretend to be something you're not.
- If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
- When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

Us advanced humans complicate life so much that we forget to take pleasure in the simple things. Remember as a child how all the new things we experienced were absolute bliss. But sadly as we grow older we are told to grow up and start behaving a certain way. What a load of rubbish!

When you wake up in the morning, give thanks for another day of life on this beautiful planet, and tell those close to you that you love them, and at least once a day, do something that makes you feel good inside, and for goodness sake, practice smiling, it's infectious.

Have an absolutely awesome week. :-)

Fear of change

2008-09-29T08:32:00.003+02:00

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
- Albert Einstein

Are most of us insane? According to this quote we are. We do the same things day after day and expect our life to change in some miraculous way. And if you think about it logically this quote is spot on. How can something change unless we try something different?

So why is it that most of us find change so difficult? It all has to do with that persistent little thing called ego. We are comfortable in our routine life and fearful of what might happen if we try something new.

“The key to change... is to let go of fear.”
- Rosanne Cash

What is it that we are fearful of? well, there are a number of things, but most of us fear loosing our perceived identity. We think that who we are is determined by what other people think of us, we fear that by changing, our friends and family won't like us anymore. In my humble opinion, any friend or family member who has a problem with you changing for the better and becoming a happier person is not a true friend. It is a very selfish relationship that doesn't encourage wanting what is best for the other person.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
- Maria Robinson

And when it comes to our professional lives, the same applies. We could all do with a bit more money, but how can you expect to get more by doing the same thing day after day. And here fear is a huge factor. What happens if I try something new and fail? What will people think?

According to the bible, no human being has the right to judge another, yet we do it all the time. When we gossip about other people, we are actually judging them, and gossip is out of control at the moment, but more will be said about that in a future article.

So, if you are wanting something different in your life, be it emotionally, financially, spiritually or for your health. Start doing something about it. What do you REALLY have to loose?

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
- Reinhold Niebuhr

Lack of focus

2008-09-22T08:02:00.004+02:00

“Our thoughts create our reality - where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go.”
- Peter McWilliams

I could write a book on this topic, and maybe one day I will, but for now I will just share a few thoughts with you. Us humans seem to be losing the ability to focus. We have so many distractions in our lives these days, and without offending the fairer sex, the ability to multi-task is not something to be proud of, it creates more stress than you need.

Let me use an example to explain:
A few weeks ago my wife and I went to the gynaecologist for a scan, we went in separate cars and when we got there I asked her if she had noticed how beautiful the coral trees looked, (they are in full bloom now). She hadn't, seems she was too busy thinking about other stuff to notice.

You see, our minds are so full of 'noise' that we can't seem to appreciate life and all it's beauty anymore. We are so busy thinking about the past and what could have been, and worrying about the future and what might be, that we forget about the present moment, the only one that really counts.

So how do we get our focus back? There are many ways, but I can only write about my own experiences. I read 'The Power of Now' - by Eckhart Tolle, and in it he suggests we focus on the mundane tasks that we currently do on auto pilot, like washing your hands. Focus on the smell of the soap, how it feels on your hands, the temperature of the water and the feel of the towel when drying your hands. This will help to bring your focus back to the present moment.

Another way is to meditate. I used to think people who meditate are weird and flaky, until I started doing it myself. These people know something we don't, because it really helps. Now people might think I am weird and flaky, but as Dr. Wayne W. Dyer so accurately put it, "What you think of me is none of my business". Meditation takes huge amounts of discipline, so I decided to get some help, I purchased some brain entrainment CD's to listen to. I am actually listening to one right now. When I use them regularly I notice a huge difference in my ability to focus.

There are so many different products out there, but I can only write about the ones I am using. I found them the least complicated and the most reasonably priced, but have a look for yourself. Click here for more information and to purchase if you are interested.

“The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.”
- Brian Tracy

Once you have started getting your ability to focus back, you need to focus on the right things. We always tend to focus most of our energy on the negative instead of the positive, and we wonder why things don't seem to be going right. It really is logical, what you put most of your energy into will give you quickest results. So start focusing on the life you want not one you don't. The next step is to take action, but more about that in a future article.

Have a great week, and most of all, enjoy what you do!

“I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe.”
- Dalai Lama

Life

2008-09-14T19:17:00.007+02:00

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." - Buddha

In today's article I just want to remind people about life and share what I think life should be. Let me use a simple plant as an analogy.

When you look at a seed, what do you see? You should see life, because that's what it is. It's life waiting for the right conditions to express itself. All you need to do is add water and some essential nutrients and the seed begins to grow. Did the seed suddenly find life in the water or nutrients? No, the life was always there. So why do seeds grow? Because it is plant life wanting to express more of itself.

Is it difficult for the seed to grow? That all depends on the conditions in which it is growing, but generally the seed grows with ease. What is the purpose of that plant, that all depends on what type of plant it is. Does the plant question it's existence and purpose? Thankfully, no, it just lives.

Remember this. From one single seed a whole forest can be created.

“The most important things in life aren't things.” - Anthony J. D'Angelo

What does this have to do with humans? Well us humans really do complicate our lives. We question our existence continuously and we are always trying to find our purpose in life. What were we born to do?

Let me ask you this. If we suddenly found out how life began and why, would it really change the way we do things? Would we suddenly all become enlightened beings living enlightened lives? Why do we need the answer in order to change the way we live?

What would happen if we were all suddenly told what our purpose on this planet is? And what if we didn't like this purpose we were given?

Have you noticed in this article how many questions are being asked?

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman

I feel us humans ask far too many questions instead of just living. We are here for the same reason as the simple plant, to express more of life. And the only way to express more of life is live life to the full. So stop questioning why you are here and what you are supposed to be doing, and just enjoy your life. Start doing things that bring out your joy and make you feel good. And my suggestion is to start with the simple things, the small things. I enjoy walking on the beach with my wife, and now we have a dog too, which makes it even more enjoyable.

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” - Ashley Smith

Ego

2008-09-07T18:36:00.013+02:00

“It is the nature of the ego to take, and the nature of the spirit to share.” - Proverb

The common misconception is that only men have ego's, but we all have an ego whether we like it or not. What is your ego really? I believe that those of you who read this and are offended by it will only be offended because deep within you, below your layers of ego, you know it is true. (this is an extremely sensitive subject and there have been hundreds of books written about it, I am just scratching the surface here)

Firstly let me tell you what your ego isn't. Your ego isn't you! It's a part of you that tries to prevent the real you from expressing yourself. I recently listened to an audio CD by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, The Power of Intention. Below are what he believes the ego wants us to believe:

1. I am what I have, my possessions define me.
2. I am what I do, my achievements define me.
3. I am what others think of me, my reputation defines me.
4. I am separate from everyone, my body defines me as alone.
5. I am separate from all that is missing in my life, my life space is disconnected from my desires.
6. I am separate from God, my life depends on God's assessment of my worthiness.

Think about it really carefully, when you leave this planet, what do you take with you? What do you leave behind? How will you be remembered? You won't be remembered for all you possessions or achievements, you'll be remembered as a person, your character, your spirit. And to be really blunt, who cares what you are remembered for. You are no longer here.

This is where your ego intervenes, most of us live our lives trying to impress and "keep up with the Jone's" instead of just enjoying our limited time here on earth.

Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting the best for yourself and your loved ones. I believe every human being deserves the best of everything. But don't sacrifice your life in pursuit of all these things. Never forget to stay in touch with the real you.

"We are not human beings here for a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings here for a human experience." - Dannion Brinkley

"The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you."
- Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

So how do we shed these layers of ego? There are 4 stages;

1. Discipline
2. Wisdom
3. Love
4. Surrender (this is where the body and mind no longer run the show)

I have made it as far as stage 3, but frequently slip back into stage 2 and even stage 1. Shedding your ego is quite tricky in this day and age, especially when it has been part of your life for so long. I will continue on my journey and I can't wait to reach the stage of surrender.

I will share more with you about the different stages in future articles.

“Such is the nature of the human ego; it resents its betters and gloats at its lessers.” - Tom Smith

"The people we judge and hate in life are in fact reflections of our disowned selves."
- Dr Hal Stone.

Emotions

2008-09-01T08:19:00.005+02:00

“Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.”
- Roger Ebert

Our emotions are extremely powerful feedback mechanisms, yet most of us choose not to try and understand them and listen to what they are telling us. Believe it or not, our emotions can actually cause us harm and eventually kill us, we will always blame it on some form of disease, (dis-ease), but that's just the easy way out, trying to blame something else, which is far easier than taking responsibility.

What are emotions really? Most people seem to think our emotions have something to do with our heart, mainly because of the feeling a lot of us experience in our chest area during times of intense emotion. But our emotions are actually controlled by 2 glands in our brain, the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland. So, our thoughts controls our emotions and we control our thoughts. Well, most of us do, the rest of us believe we are slaves to our emotions and that life is just mean to us.

So how do we learn to control our emotions? It has taken me years and plenty of reading but I have finally found something that works for me, maybe it will work for you. Below is something called 'The Emotional Guidance Scale' from the book Ask and it is Given by Esther & Jerry Hicks.

1. Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4. Positive Expectation/Belief
5. Optimism
6. Hopefulness
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11. Overwhelmed
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred/Rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

The goal is to try and spend as much time as your can in emotion no. 1, but it's not always easy. The biggest mistake people make it to try and go from anger straight to happiness, possible, but not the wisest method. I would recommend going from anger to frustration to hopefulness then to happiness and up to no. 1. Climb the emotional ladder so to speak.

How do you do that? Firstly you need to recognize that you are angry, admit it to yourself, write down why you are angry, it always helps. I can't tell you the number of times I have started writing a letter to my wife and then gone back and read it and realized it'd not such a big deal and the writing helps me get the frustration out of the way. Then just start changing your thoughts, think of your hopes and dreams, think of past memories that have made you laugh, think of the people you love, things you love doing, things you are grateful for. etc.

“The strangest and most fantastic fact about negative emotions is that people actually worship them.”
- P. D. Ouspensky

It really baffles me how many people are unhappy, and how many people talk about negative things most of the time, I suppose it makes them feel better knowing they are not alone in their misery. Anyway, I hope that what I am sharing with you today helps, if it helps just one person I'll be the happiest person on the planet.

“Negative emotion is your indication from your Inner Being that the action you are considering is not in harmony with your greater intentions.”
– Abraham-Hicks

Worry

2008-08-25T07:41:00.008+02:00

"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything."
- Mary Hemingway

Why do us humans worry so much? If I didn't know any better I'd think we derived some form of pleasure out of it, and when asked most people say, 'I can't help it!'. Why not? Have you lost control of your own mind?

Think about it carefully, how many of the things you worry about actually happen? So was all the stress really necessary? If there is something you can do about it then do it, and do it well, if not, stop worrying. Have faith, faith that life will deliver exactly what is needed in your life.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
- Matthew 6:34

The really scary thing is that the universe responds to your thoughts with amazing accuracy, good and bad. So the more you worry about something, the more chance you have of attracting that experience into your life. As mentioned in an earlier blog, when you first start worrying about something it is a conscious thought, but if you worry about it for long enough it becomes an unconscious thought, you don't even realize you are worrying about it.

So, become pro-active in your life, stop worrying and start living!

"If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep."
- Dale Carnegie

"Ninety percent of the things we tend to worry about we have no control over, so why worry about them?"
- Unknown

Mumbo-Jumbo (Law of attraction)

2008-08-18T08:11:00.007+02:00

'Our challenge, which is also a tremendous opportunity, is to open up to a literally life-changing way of thinking ourselves into existence.' - Sol Luckman

When I talk to people about the Law of Attraction, most people ask, 'Do you really believe in all that mumbo-jumbo? 5 years ago I would've said the same thing. Today I can say with absolute certainty, not only do I believe it, I practice using it daily. Since learning about the Law of Attraction, my life has changed immensely. I only started practicing after seeing the movie, 'The Secret', but unlike most people, I didn't stop there, I read books, watched DVDs, searched the internet and spoke to people who knew about it. Here are a few examples of how my life has changed.

1.
I have been wanting a dog for years, but I refused to even look for one because my working hours were long and my wife works so the dog would've been left alone all day. I believe a dog should be treated as part of the family, and you wouldn't leave a family member alone all day, especially one that relies on you so much. 3 months ago I started working from home, so we decided it was time to finally get our dog. I knew exactly what dog I wanted, and thankfully my wife agreed, as long as it was black. So the search began, and what do you know, we found a breeder with exactly what we were looking for, only problem, one dog left, two people wanting him. (no-one else in our province had any litters at the time). I believed with all my heart we would get him, and we did. Meet 'Tyson', our newest family member.

2.
My wife is now 10 weeks pregnant and our two year anniversary is coming up, and when we got married we agreed that every anniversary we would go somewhere special for the weekend. This year we decided to do some financial planning for when my wife is on maternity leave, and decided not to go away. I believed that with all my wife has been through, (we had a miscarriage on the first attempt), she really deserved the weekend. Two days later I get a phone call, I've won a weekend away from a charity organization I support.

Now most of you would say I'm just really lucky. Maybe, but I never used to be. I believe we make our own luck, and using the Law of Attraction really has changed my luck.

I have changed my whole attitude toward life.
Life is meant to be easy and enjoyable, God didn't put me on this planet to struggle, I have made it a struggle with my negativity and limiting beliefs. And since I have changed my attitude, my life really has changed for the better, and I know it's just going to keep getting better.

A lot of you will still say, 'What a load of mumbo-jumbo!', and in the past that would have bothered me, not any more. Every one is entitled to their own opinion and beliefs. I just know that so many of you are missing out on living the life of your dreams, but when you are ready, you'll open your minds to the infinite possibilities life has to offer.

'Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.' - Martin Luther King Jr. 'The only way to successfully manifest the life you desire... is to keep trying until you are successful!' - Bob Crawford

Gratitude & kindness

2008-08-10T19:03:00.004+02:00

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. - Brian Tracy

Whenever you are feeling a bit down, or things just don't seem to be going right, try a little gratitude. Start with the small things, things taken for granted. Are you grateful you have eyes to be able to read this, and that you have the ability to read? Some people don't have either. So say a thank you, and keep thinking of little things to be grateful for, you'll start feeling better.

Us humans, we always want more, and there's nothing wrong with that. All living things want more, it's how life expresses itself here on earth. We are here to experience the best life has to offer, it's up to us to learn how to achieve it. The problem is this, are we grateful for what we have, and are we grateful or everything we get? When you receive a gift, are you truly grateful? Or do you wish it was more, or something better?

Be truly grateful, a heartfelt 'Thank you' is all it takes. (The more grateful you are, the more likely you will receive more).

And did you know that being kind helps the brain produce serotonin, which is exactly what prescription anti-depressants do. Your simple acts of kindness can even have the same effect on those who see the acts.

So if you are feeling down, don't reach for the pills, ice-cream or wine. Be grateful and go and do something kind, and don't expect anything in return, you are doing this for yourself, no other reason. It might be difficult at first, but practice doing something kind, and being kind every day. Your life will change, guaranteed.

My theory is this:
The more people who can be grateful and kind, the happier this planet will be, and what could be better than a happier planet?

Here is an example of how to start your day in a grateful and kind way. When you wake up in the morning, thank your Creator for another awesome day in which you can experience life to it's fullest. And on your way to work, let someone in front of you in the traffic and smile, or tell your partner you love them or they look good, there are so many simple ways to be kind.

Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much. - Blaise Pascal

Have a great day, and thank you so much for reading my article.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. - Denis Waitley

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. - HH the Dalai Lama

Self esteem (my story)

2008-08-03T14:34:00.004+02:00

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha

How do you know if have low self esteem? Do you ever compare yourself to someone else, someone you know or someone famous? If you do, you may have low self esteem. But don't feel bad, you are not alone, most of the worlds population share this affliction.

So much has been written about this subject and there are so many courses out there on how to develop your self esteem. I have to ask, Why do so many of us suffer from low self esteem? Unfortunately no one knows the answer, there are a lot of theories out there, but no one knows the root cause. If someone did, we would all be cured. I do know this, the media feed on the populations low self esteem. Most advertising focuses on making you feel like a better person if you buy and use their product. And it usually does, but not permanently.

“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” - Unknown

Your self esteem can only be changed by you, from inside you. I have had low self esteem for as long as I can remember, I only realised this a few years ago, and the hardest thing I had to do was admit it to myself. I was always doing things to please others, always agreeing with what they said, and if I didn't agree I would just keep quiet. I just wanted to be liked by everyone. I believed that what other people thought of me defined who I was. Thankfully I have realised how wrong that is.

The first thing I had to do was love and respect myself, and it doesn't just happen overnight, it takes effort. Then I had to stop worrying about what other people would think about what I was saying or doing. Something that helped me here was realising that people don't actually think about me that often, they've got too much other stuff going on in their lives. What a relief that was! Then came the hard part.....

I had to accept that I was going to loose some friends with my new beliefs. They liked the old me, the me that made them feel good about themselves. The new me might not be quite as pleasing to them. This was a really tough predicament to deal with. What it made me realise was that the true friends would stick by me no matter what, the rest weren't true friends to begin with. Another plus was that I would meet more people who would like me for me.
“To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” - Denis Waitley

That's my low self esteem story, and here's how I try and look at things to better my self esteem.
- when I want to say or do something, I don't ask myself, 'What will other people think?'. I ask myself, 'Is it right or wrong?". (read my blog on right or wrong for more about this)
- if someone disagrees with what I am saying or doing, it doesn't mean it is wrong. Not everyone is going to agree with me all the time. (we are all at different stages of development in our own lives)
- just because everyone else is doing it a certain way, doesn't mean it's right. This herd mentality is detrimental to society in more ways than I can explain in this article. (see my blog on paradigms and perceptions)

My self esteem is not nearly where I would like it to be, but it will be soon. Where is yours?

“Believe in your dreams and they may come true; believe in yourself and they will come true.” - Unknown

“The greatest difficulty is that men do not think enough of themselves, do not consider what it is that they are sacrificing when they follow in a herd, or when they cater for their establishment” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” - Unknown

Magnetism

2008-07-28T08:30:00.004+02:00

'You are the most powerful magnet in the universe! You contain a magnetic power within you that is more powerful than anything in this world, and this unfathomable magnetic power is emitted through your thoughts.'
- Rhonda Byrne

In this quote you are compared to a magnet, and rightly so. Firstly let me explain how a magnet works. A magnet is a type of metal that generates a magnetic field, you can't see this field, but it is there. This field attracts materials with common or similar properties. A magnet will not attract lead, aluminium & stainless steel because these metals have different properties to magnets. The important point is this, you can't see the magnetic field with the naked eye, but it is there.

Your brain generates electrical pulses at varying frequencies 24 hours a day, these are commonly known as brain waves, (beta, alpha, theta and delta). What happens to these brain waves, do they just disappear into thin air? Fortunately they don't, your brain waves are like a magnetic field, they attract everything into your life. This is commonly known as the law of attraction.

Why do people struggle to believe this? They believe a magnet works, yet they can't see the magnetic field. I believe that us human beings don't like responsibility. If you believe the law of attraction works, then you have to believe that you create your own life experiences, the good and the bad. And very few people can admit to attracting bad things into their life.

Here's the beauty of the law of attraction, imagine the type of life you can create for yourself if you can learn to control your thoughts. What good does a negative thought do? So why think it? You can't help it...., well then I'm afraid you no longer control your life, your ego does.

Now the really scary part. The law of attraction is a law, like magnetism and gravity. It works whether you believe in it or not. So it would be really wise of you to learn how to use this law properly and create the life of your dreams.

If you want to be loved, be a loving person;
If you want happiness, be a happy person;
If you want to be wealthy, think wealthy thoughts;
If you want to be healthy, think healthy thoughts;
the list goes on....

It all starts with you!

'When you change the way you look at things - the things you look at change.' - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Breathe

2008-07-20T14:31:00.002+02:00

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
- Oprah Winfrey

Breathing, something taken for granted and yet so important for survival. You can live without food and water for a few days, but try and live for a few minutes without breathing.
And it's not just breathing, but how we breathe that is of vital importance.

Have you ever stopped and observed your breathing? Do it now. Is it short and shallow? Or is it long and deep? By observing your breathing you will be able to tell whether you are relaxed, or stressed and anxious. Long, deep breathes indicate a relaxed state. Any form of meditation or exercise focus firstly on breathing, that's how important it is. If you are breathing in short, shallow bursts it means you are stressed or anxious about something.

The first thing you need to do is start breathing deeply, and concentrate on your breathing, I mean really concentrate. Firstly, make sure you are sitting or standing upright, your spine nice and straight. Then make sure your shoulders are back and your chest open, not hollow or hunched. Then breathe, feel the air flowing through your nostrils and filling up your lungs, breathe in until your lungs are full, really full.... then exhale slowly. Keep doing this until you start feeling relaxed, actually, keep doing this for the rest of your life, the benefits are immense.

Please note, the first time you start doing this, you might feel slightly light headed, that's because your body and mind are not used to so much oxygen, and it is a great indicator that you don't breathe properly.

If you are having trouble falling asleep, concentrate on your breathing, and don't give up after a few minutes, keep it up, you will eventually fall asleep. It's a known fact that when we sleep we naturally breathe more deeply and rhythmically than when awake. That's because when we sleep our body and mind renews itself, and the more oxygen we give it the better.
But if we could breathe like that while awake, imagine the benefits.

And it's not just how we breathe, but what we breathe. The better the quality of air the better your body can use it.

I am an ex-smoker, and they say we are the worst when it comes to being around smokers. I just wish the smokers I know could feel the benefits I feel from quitting. Our bodies are designed in a way that we breathe in air through our lungs and our lungs absorb oxygen into our blood stream and it is transported to every single cell. Unfortunately, everything else gets absorbed with the oxygen. And the list of chemicals is scary.
The quality of air we breathe while sleeping is even more important, so if you sleep with you bedroom door closed it might explain why you don't feel refreshed in the morning. The ideal is to sleep near an open window, and even better if there is a slight draft. Unfortunately, living conditions in most countries don't allow this.

So, stop taking breathing for granted and breathe your way to better health.

“To insure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.”
- William Londen

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
- Marcus Aurelius

Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours”
- Swedish Proverb

Paradigms & perceptions

2008-07-13T18:39:00.010+02:00

"Just because something has always been done in a certain way is never a sufficient reason for continuing to do it that way."
- Clarence Birdseye

This quote explains a paradigm in a simple way, and the attached cartoon in an even simpler way. (to view the cartoon more clearly, just click on the image, it will open in a new window)

According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, a paradigm is "a philosophical and theoretical framework of a scientific school or discipline within which theories, laws, and generalizations and the experiments performed in support of them are formulated; broadly: a philosophical or theoretical framework of any kind."

In a sense, we each have our own set of paradigms or glasses through which we view the world. These personal viewpoints of the "way things are" may cloud our ability to perceive or consider new or different ideas, especially if they seem to be in conflict with our perception of what is reality or "truth."

My question is this, how many paradigms are there, and why do we accept them so easily?

"All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions."
- Leonardo da Vinci

A lot of what we believe and the way we do things has been passed down through the ages, from our distant relatives, or a committee or organization created the paradigm. We are even born with certain perceptions already programmed into our thinking. It is only as we get older we can start to question things. (if we want to)

"What you see depends on what you thought before you looked."
- Eugene Taurman

The problem with paradigms and perceptions is that it tends to narrow our thinking and close our minds. We make decisions before we have even heard the other side, especially if it challenges a belief we have had for some time.

"With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another."
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

One of the most concerning paradigms for me, is one created by certain churches. The belief that if you don't walk the straight and narrow you will suffer the wrath of God. That basically means we will all suffer the wrath of God, because all of us sin at one point in our life. I believe in a loving God, I believe God is pure love, nothing else and he will never get angry with any of his children. I strive to be more like Him and be loving and kind to all I know and meet.

I would love to hear about more paradigms that annoy you, I know there are plenty out there...

Right or wrong?

2008-07-07T08:08:00.001+02:00

"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it."
- Norman Shwarzkopf

So how do you know if what you are doing or saying is right or wrong? (It really is very simple, we tend to always over complicate it.)

There are only two questions you need to ask yourself.

1. Would my creator do or say it? And remember, God only does things out of love, because he is pure love, nothing else. And when asking yourself this question, you mustn't only consider your love for someone else, but also your love for yourself. (This might sound arrogant or selfish, but I'm talking about a respectful love, not a vain type of love, after all, how can you truly love someone else without loving yourself?)

2. Would I like it if someone else did or said to me what I'm about to do or say? And here you have to be really honest with yourself, because you might think you would be OK, but would you really?

If after asking yourself these two questions you still aren't sure, ask someone you really trust their opinion, and never blame that person if their advise turns out to be wrong. It's not their fault you asked them, and you decided to use their advise.

"No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same."
- Victor Frankl

"Always do right! This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
- Mark Twain

"There is no right way to do wrong."
- Unknown

Self control, a dying art

2008-06-29T18:59:00.001+02:00

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”
- Brian Tracy

This is a tough one for most of us, myself included. Self control needs to be used in many situations, in this article I am going to focus on arguments.

So why do most arguments begin? There are a number of reasons, but the most common one is a difference of opinion. When you are in a relationship, whether it be a friendship, marriage, family or business there will always be differing opinions. Arguments normally start when you have a different opinion to someone else and one of you is trying to enforce your point of view on the other. An argument can be resolved on the spot or it can become very heated, even abusive (emotionally & physically), depending on the topic of the argument. And when the argument is over and all the wrong things have been said and done we adopt a blame mentality, if we got frustrated or angry we blame the other person. “You made me say …...” Or “You made me angry.” Or “Why can’t you see things my way?” The main reason we do this is that accepting responsibility for our own actions means we have to admit we lost control, and that takes a lot of courage.

When there is a difference of opinion, is it really that important that the other person agree with your opinion? Is your opinion the only one, and is it right? Why?

As a matter of fact, you have no right to force someone else to see things your way; it goes against the whole concept of free will. Respect the other persons individuality, and if your opinion is the right one, the other person might agree with it one day, they might not, it’s really not that important.

I am learning to adopt a new attitude which is very difficult for all my friends and family to accept. I voice my opinion, if someone agrees that’s great, if someone doesn’t that’s also great, but I am not going get all emotionally worked up about it. And if I’m wrong, I’ll admit it, there’s nothing wrong with being wrong, none of us can be right ALL the time no matter how much we would like to believe it.

Start exercising the art self control today and see how YOUR life changes.

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” - Galatians 5:22

Save our home

2008-06-23T08:56:00.004+02:00

“Our loyalties are to the species and the planet. We speak for Earth. Our obligation to survive is owed not just to ourselves but also to that Cosmos, ancient and vast, from which we spring.”
- Dr. Carl Sagan

Save our home, and by home I don't mean the building you reside in, I mean our home, planet earth.

Here is something to think about....

"I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I've realized that you are not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment. But you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus."
- Agent Smith, from "The Matrix"

Agent Smith refers to us as a virus, I think we behave more like parasites. Here is the definition of a parasite or parasitism taken from the wikipedia:

Parasitism is a type of symbiotic relationship between organisms of different species in which one, the parasite, benefits from a prolonged, close association with the other, the host, which is harmed. In general, parasites are much smaller than their hosts, show a high degree of specialization for their mode of life and reproduce more quickly and in greater numbers than their hosts.

Very similar to what agent Smith said.

So how do we start behaving like humans again and develop a mutual relationship with our planet, which is actually what God has given us the responsibility to do?

I believe we need to change our attitude, it seems to me that we have become extremely selfish as a species. The planet won't be destroyed in our lifetime so why should we worry about it. What we don't realize is that what we teach our children, will be taught to their children, and so on.

Here is another analogy to ponder. Planet earth has got cancer, and the cancer cells are known as humans.
Here is the definition of cancer taken from the wikipedia:

Cancer (medical term: malignant neoplasm) is a class of diseases in which a group of cells display the traits of uncontrolled growth (growth and division beyond the normal limits), invasion (intrusion on and destruction of adjacent tissues), and sometimes metastasis (spread to other locations in the body via lymph or blood).

I know this whole subject it pretty morbid, but we need to wake up eventually and take responsibilty for our actions. If every person did something small to give thanks to our planet for providing all we need, well, a whole lot of small things leads to one big thing. All you need to do is treat the planet the same way you would treat the home you live in. Start today!

Free will, gift or curse?

2008-06-17T08:00:00.001+02:00

“One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, its remarkable how often their picture turns up on your driver's license.”
- P. J. O'Rourke

Free will is the greatest gift given to humans; it is also the greatest curse.

The reason it is the greatest gift….., it gives us the power to create the life we really want.

The reason it is the greatest curse….., too many of us don’t know how to use it wisely and therefore get stuck in a ‘blame’ mentality.

A quick note:
When I refer to God, it’s by no means excluding any other belief system. I believe he is known by many names; Source, Infinite Intelligence, etc. So wherever you see the word God, feel free to insert your own word if it makes for easier reading. And by referring to God in the masculine, I’m by no means being sexist, God is not male nor is he female, he’s both and he’s neither… It’s the same as referring to cars or ships as ‘she’, its just way I’ve always done things.
(And if you don't believe in anything, well then your whole existence must be one huge accident, are you an accident?)

As humans we possess three things, our mind, our body and our spirit. Our mind and body are temporary, they will eventually pass, but our spirit will continue to live forever. Unfortunately most of us neglect all three, or we pay attention to one or two of them, but to look after all three is just too much like hard work.

Mind
Our mind controls our body. The sub conscious mind is responsible for your bodily functions; breathing heart beat, the five senses, all the things we take for granted. The conscious mind is responsible for our thoughts, and we are thinking machines. Try and stop thinking for while, just sit there. And sitting there saying to yourself, ‘I’m not thinking’ means you are still thinking. It’s a lot more difficult than you think. (excuse the pun). If you hold on to a conscious thought for long enough, it eventually filters into your sub conscious, and if it is an unhealthy thought, it will create some form of disease in your body. More about that in another article.

Body
Our bodies are vessels for our mind and spirit; it’s the only one we’ve got. And how do we treat it? Mostly very poorly. God has provided everything we need for good health right here on planet earth, and yet we are still pumping our bodies full of chemicals and harmful products, and not only our bodies, but our home, planet earth.

Spirit
Our spirit, now that’s what we’re all about, it’s who we are beyond our ego. It’s the part of us that is connected to every other living thing in the universe and very closely connected with God. Can you remember a time when you saw something so beautiful it seemed that some of your senses switched off, can you remember how much joy you felt? Imagine being able to feel that kind of joy whenever you wanted to. Now that’s the real you, in that moment you had no worries, your mind and your ego were quiet. Sadly, very few of us know our spirit, our mind and our ego are too busy and we don’t set aside time to quieten them.

What does all this have to do with free will?

Well, whenever something goes wrong in our life, it’s usually because we have been neglecting our mind, body or spirit.

And there’s always a GOOD reason;
I don’t have the time.
I don’t have the money.
I don’t have the energy.
I’m too old.
I’m too young.
I’m too fat.
I’m too thin, etc.

And if none of these excuses are good enough, as a last resort, we blame God. It is actually the easiest thing in the world to blame God, he can’t defend himself against you, and it’s far easier than taking responsibility for anything yourself.

When you give someone a gift, and they don’t use that gift correctly, it’s a bit of a waste of a gift. Someone else could have benefited far more by receiving that same gift.

So my question to you is…… Has God wasted His gift of free will on you? If not, are you using this incredible gift wisely?

Remember, every time you make an excuse or blame someone / something for your situation you are giving away your free will & your power.

“God created the law of free will, and God created the law of cause and effect. And he himself will not violate the law. We need to be thinking less in terms of what God did and more in terms of whether or not we are following those laws.”
- Marianne Williamson

“There's too much tendency to attribute to God the evils that man does of his own free will.”
- Agatha Christie

“God is not willing to do everything, and thus take away our free will and that share of glory which belongs to us” - Niccolo Machiavelli